A
male
age
36-40,
*mega
writes:Hi thereI've been going out with a girl for 4 months now , but have known her and been friends with her for a couple of years.Since we started going out we have both admitted we havent been so happy for quite a while, so things are going well.However she has a real problem with her body image and how i see her, i personally think she is gorgeous and cant think of anyone i would rather be with, but she always tells me thats nonsense and that she doesnt deserve me etc. when to be honest, i am nowhere near good enough for her.Also, whenever we make love, she insist on keeping her bra on due to a slight differance in breast size, this doesnt bother me in the fact that i dont get to see her boobs, but worries me that i would be failing in my duties as a boyfriend if i couldnt make her happy and confident about herself.I have tried to talk to her seriously about these, and insisted they aren't problems and she should just tell me when she feels ready to breach the topics, but i have a feeling she never will.I would greatly appreciate any advice anyone would give me on this delicate subject.Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): when i started seeing my boyfriend 18 months ago i wouldnt walk around naked in front of him. this took almost a year for me to feel confident enough to do. I do hate my body (typical girl) but I did realise it was doing more damage trying to cover up than just letting him see me and he too loves me the way I am. give her time, she will build confidence with you and herself and looking back she wont believe how she used to behave.
A
male
reader, Omega +, writes (13 March 2007):
Omega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the response, i kinda knew that was where i should go , but its always reassuriong to hear from someone else, thank you,
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (13 March 2007):
 I think it's important that you know that 80% of all women have a negative body image and it's great that you're so understanding and want to help. There's no quick fix on this. You can ask her to take her bra off, telling her you think she's the most beautiful girl in the world or you could point out that no girl has perfectly symmetrical breasts. The important thing is to be patient and loving. That way she'll gradually get to trust you and let her guard down. It's not an issue that can be pushed too far too quickly though so take it easy with her.
CD
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