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*igb4ever
writes: I was recently introduced to a beautiful girl who is also really nice although we haven't spoke too much we hit it off pretty well. However she has an on/off boyfriend who is a bad guy he even aggressively grabbed her at one point. What should i do i have strong feelings for this girl and shes deserves better then this guy. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006): Of course she deserves better than a guy who treats her badly. Every woman deserves better and many women would kick this cad's ass to the curb. But she's not doing this. What worries me is that she is staying in this relationship, all in the name of love? Most women with good self-esteem and a ton of self-respect are able to walk away, the minute the man they're involved with, isn't able to control his anger or he lifts a hand to hurt her. Not only does her bf have control and abuse problems..she has to be a very frightened, insecure, co-dependant person, as well. And sometimes people like her, need to fix themselves before they find the strength to walk away from abuse. And onlt after they are 'fixed' then and only then, can they find a healthy, loving, relationship with someone else.
All you can do is be a friend. to her and let her know if she's in trouble, she can come to you for help. But as far as a love relationship, dear...she needs counseling to help her understand why she's allowing some guy to abuse her. The very fact that she's staying in this relationship, suggests to me that she feels she ''needs" him, even though he treats her badly, or she is mistaking his possessiveness for true love, which we all know isn't true, at all. She may have experienced or witnessed abuse in her family, too, which could make her believe this is just the way love is. Again, not true! But whatever her reasons for staying with an abusive bf, those reasons are seriously skewed and she requires immediate help from a trained professional. See if you can talk her into getting help.
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