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She has always been a double-edged sword kind of friend

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 August 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2010)
A age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am really angry with my friend “X” and I have no idea what I should do about it. We have known each other for 10 years. Over the last few years X has changed a lot- she was a late bloomer and didn't really start actively dating until her mid twenties. I don't know if she needs to make up for lost time or what, but now when I speak to her I have to listen to her talk about her boys. When she stops for air, I try to talk about a guy I was seeing. But she immediately says, “Oh, I don’t remember him” or “we should double date because I’m seeing so-and-so” and she manages to turn the conversation BACK to herself!

I have tried to confront her about this numerous times now, and she stops the behavior for that day only and resumes her usual self the next day. She has low moments where she talks about being lonely, but then goes on with her day like nothing happened and continues to brag about her life/boys/etc.

She was always a double-edged sword kind of friend. She made me laugh all the time, shared my stupid sense of humor and could be really fun to spend time with, but she also had a tendency to make me feel bad or stupid.

The negatives seem to outweigh the positives now, and I’m stumped about what to do about it.

What should I do? Am I being judgmental? If I do distance myself, how do I act if I run into her?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (6 August 2010):

Friend 'X' should be friend 'EX', I think. You shouldn't' surround yourself by people who will belittle you. If the negatives are outweighing the positives, then the time has come to pull away from her.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (6 August 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntFriends come and go. If someone makes you feel bad there is no reason to stick around. Life is too short to put up with obnoxious people.

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