A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:People get curious and try different thing I totally understand that and can accept it. My wife of 10 years just had a baby after the baby was born I found out it was not mine. We are both white and she had a black baby wow what a shocker. She admitted to haing sex with black men and swore she stopped. I stayed with her adn support her and the baby.Now I got a little curious about transexuals and decided to give it a whirl. The first time was not that great but I figured that it was just because it was my first. It did get better. She found out and totally freaked out on me. I told her I would not be with another transexual again and that I had not been with one in months. She said that it is gross. She gives me the cold shoulder and wont have sex with me much less kiss me. Can anyone tell me what the difference between what she did and what I did is? And should I stay or go? Please let me know what you think I should do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Firstly, you said: I stayed with her adn support her and the baby.
This was mistake number 1.
Secondly you asked: Can anyone tell me what the difference between what she did and what I did is?
Well, there is an issue of prejudice towards homosexuality, which some people include transexuals...but I do not think that is the only thing here.
My guess it is not the affair, nor is it the transexuals...I think she was LOOKING for an excuse to punish you, or even make you leave her. She does not seem to have the strength to break up with you, and I think she is secretly hoping you would leave her.
Dude, for *%&^$# sake's she had someone's else's kid, and YOU STAYED? How is she suppose to respect you, when you showed no self respect? She is treatly you poorly becuase she does not want to be the one to break it off.
-Frank B Kermit, author of Everything Out Of Her Mouth Is A Test
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): yah its silly really, u can forgive for having another mans baby, but she cant forgive u. well if it were a real women and not a man women do think she would feel different. u do know the stats of hep c and hiv dont u. male on male sex is very high, higher than male female sex. and im sorry unless ur gay, u shouldnt be having sex with other males, even if they now have female genitalia. im sure thats why she cant stomache u right now. and really, if the two of u are stepping out on eachother u should just leave and save urself the heart ache.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 did you do this just to get one over on her because she cheated?
i don't think this relationship is right for reasons stemming beyond you being curious.
she cheated, there must hve been a reason, she maybe isn't happy or something, she feels you've betrayed her, not with another girl but with a tansexual! her confidence will be zero now.
you need to talk things through, she's the only one that can say if you have a future but if you want to get some life experience, i suggest you end your marriage first.
oh but i commend you on staying and bringing up another man's baby, that is a real man which can do that.
best of luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): She won't forgive you for something that you just forgave her for (Infidelity).
Transexual, black/white, I think that stuff is less relevant than the fact that she had a BABY and allowed you to think it was YOURS right up until there was no way to hide the evidence of it! (Somehow I don't think it would have bothered her to leave you supporting this baby if it hadn't be obviously other-racial and then the two of you had later split up for some reason.) I'm sure she said she was sorry & cried & all sorts other apologies, but the fact remains that she only repented because she got CAUGHT. Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words ever do.
I think you should leave her right now.
I know it's a whole lot easier for me to say this than it is for you to actually do it. But this whole thing is very dysfunctional and her end of it seems worse than yours. This is someone who has already demonstrated a willingness to hurt you and another child's life for her own gratification, and now she won't even forgive you for a lesser offense.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): I think you need to go your sep. ways. Both of the things are wrong, but why do you want to have sex with another man? Are you gay? I see no hope for this relationship.
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