A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just recently found out that the (only) girl I've been seeing and having sex with for the past couple months gave me an std; doctor was called and said that I tested positive. Recently our condom broke so I'm guessing that's when it happened. I waited until I was sure about the results and I took her to the hospital to get tested, and found out she was positive for it as well. My first instinct was to leave her, but a few things are complicating it:My initial anger was due to the fact that I thought she had cheated on me, got it, and didn't care but before I told her about the std, we had a convo about our last partners and both of us had one at the same time. Only difference was that I wore a condom with my last partner: she didn't, and later found out he cheated on her. She says she hasn't been with anyone but me since him. As bad as I could tell it hurt her that I angrily told her it was over, she said that even though she didn't want to lose me, she respected my decision. Everything between us was basically perfect. I honestly tried finding flaws at first just to keep from falling so hard, and couldn't find a thing, and came close to accepting that I found someone that was great for me... and this happens. I don't really know now how to feel about it, I've never been in this kinda situation (nor do I want to ever be in it again). I'm just torn between feeling like she endangered my life and this is affecting her as much as it's affecting me. My friends have said I deserve better, but other than this, things have been fine.Would I be crazy for giving this another shot? or should I just walk away?
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cheated on me, condom, std Reply to this Question
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male
reader, tux  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 I think you are making a good choice.. If she is guilt tripping you about it.. I would say you are better off walking away. I had an ex like that and she got an std and blamed me for cheating(I wasn't) and giving it to her. Low and behold, I get tested and come back negative. Go figure.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the responses!
tbh i like her a lot, but it's farrrr too soon for the mentioning of love; we're just having fun, taking it one day at a time.
as for nik, your reason for staying, with all due respect, is not a wise decision imo. my apologies for not stating the type of std it was, but the one that she gave me is highly curable. i was given a shot and some antibiotics and i am going to the dr.'s this week to follow up. even if it wasn't, i'm not obligated to stay with her: just inform anyone else that i'm with of my condition, have them checked, and continue to take any precautions necessary.
but i have made the decision to leave her. even though i knew my own status beforehand, made sure we were safe throughout, took her to get checked when i found out, somehow she wants me to take responsibility for "my actions". i don't need the guilt trip right now, so i'm done. but thanks again!
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (6 December 2008):
If you love her, stay with her. It's not like she cheated on you and then infected you, which would make it a different story.
ON another note: Keep in mind that you can get STD's via oral sex as well.. I know a lot of people don't protect themselves during oral thinking that its "safe."
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A
female
reader, nik72389 +, writes (6 December 2008):
Well I think that you need to stay if you really love this person, I know she gave you an std and she didn't mean to because she didn't know that an ex that she had been with cheated so it's not her falt but I think if you really love her than why leave because the next person you get with is probably just gonna get it too..hope I helped!
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