A
male
age
36-40,
*otty_male
writes:ok i told a friend i liked her and she liked me but then last week she said she only wants me as a friend. i didnt know why she changed her mind but then i knew she started texting another guy from work which i was slightly jealous about and then when we all went out the other night, i noticed she was being really flirty with him and they kept looking at each other in intimate ways and now i think she wants him but hes a male Sl*t and sleeps around a lot so i think he might just be trying to use her for sex and i know shes not like that and i dont know what to do. has this happened to anyone?
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male
reader, maverick +, writes (1 May 2007):
 Hello there. I wanted to say that I have been in the same predicament but after many broken hearts I think I found the best way to deal with it.Firstly I would like say that telling a girl "I like you" or "I love you" will not cause them to fall for you. Those phrases are indicators. Not causes of an emotion.She does have a choice of you and him. She appears more interested him. Why? For one reason or another he appears attractiver (if thats a word).It would be better showing how great a guy you are rather than trying to portray the other guy in a negative light (even if he deserves it). Showing up someone elses faults also shows you up as a negative and critical individual - not making you attractive in the process.Concentrate showing your confidence, humour, flirty, charm, composure, fun side and make her enjoy every contact and conversation you two have. Occassionally show a sensitive and emotion side (ideally a lot later and rarely). You say you are friends? Do you see each other often? Maybe reduce the time you two have and conctrate on making quality (not quantity) of time together. Not sure how to do that? Please invest in body language and relationship books.If he does use her then it will be her learning curve. You won't be able to help how she feels or acts - so let it go as much as it sucks. You on the other hand can be detached from this. You can disassociate yourself from the negative experiences she could/will have with this guy. Avoid becoming part of the "problem". That way she can see you more clearly as a viable option to the other guy.You should be confident and stable, make her feel special at every chance - not just a friend but a special friend.This girl obviously has a choice of guys - including you. You just need to show her (not tell her) you are the better guy around.
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (30 April 2007):
 Anything you say will be dismissed as sour grapes, so you have to be very careful. If you have any proof, you might show it to her, but this can really blow up in your face (even if you have good proof). Good luck.
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