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She ended it-now she's with an older guy who is married! How do I deal with all this heartache?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2007)
A male age 30-35, *r.fix_it89 writes:

me and my girlfriend have been going out for 1 year and 3 months and she recently broke up with me she said it might not be permanent she said she needs time to think and she does not have the same feelings anymore i have been upset all week and she now likes this guy that likes her she is 17 he is 25 and has been married for 2 or 3 years now and i know all they have done so far is made out what should i do it tears me apart just thinking of them and how much i love her i have been crying and sick ever since she ended it i am in a big dilema please help me out with some answers on what i should do

sinserly

mr.fix_it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007):

hiya, i feel so sorry for you mate, im going througha similar thing with my girlfriend at the moment, i love her more than anything in the hwole wide world, adn im trying to do what you have said about not txting or ringing but i think what if she dont ring, i cant imagine my life without her and its killing me! i cant seem to find a way out, please help!

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A female reader, Pretty and proud United Kingdom +, writes (1 January 2007):

Pretty and proud agony aunthey babes, sorry to hear about your break up, i have just gone through the same thing today, all you need to do is act cool, dont text or call her, let her call you, and when she does be real cool tell her that you've been with your friends and if she asks for you back just think about it for a couple of days but remember how she hurt you and think is that what you really want? there are plenty more fish in the sea i know it seems hard to believe and its easier said than done but you will have alot of relationships in the future and plenty more heartbreaks and so will she, you are still obly young, just enjoy yourself find yourself a pretty girl but just remember don't hurt anyone because they will feel exactly the same as you do now about your girlfriend. i hope i helped xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007):

I understand your pain. From your signature, Mr.Fix_It, I assume you're the kind of guy who is looking for some way to "fix" this situation. Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do to "fix" your problems. As a matter of fact, it sounds like the problem is hers, not yours, even though it seems to affect you most deeply. The best advice I can give you is to do your best NOT to chase after her. I know this will be an especially hard thing to do but pressing her to come back to you and trying to convince her that she has made a mistake will only drive her farther away. The best you can do is make sure she knows that you love her and that you hope that she is happy. If she loves you, she will come back to you. If she says that she wants you to still "be friends", tell her you aren't sure that is possible, even if you really want to keep her as a friend. It takes a while for some people to realize but friendship is the real basis for love. What many people think of as "love" is really just infatuation which will wear off in time. It may be hard, but let her go for now, don't try to "fix" things and hopefully she will come back to you. I'm speaking only from experience but I've learned that, the harder you try and hang on to someone, the harder they try to pull away.

Give her room, no matter how hard it is on you. Perhaps she will realize that she has made a mistake and come back. If not, it will make it easier on you to move on and find someone else.

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