A
male
age
41-50,
*ingbeav
writes:Me and my wife have been together for almost 7yrs and have been married for almost a 1 1/2 yrs. She now says she's not happy anymore and doesn't have feelings for me anymore. She says its because all the things she's been asking me to do like kissing her, holding her hands etc. Now she says that's she's had enough and doesn't wanna try anymore. I've been trying to do all the things that she asked before cause I really don't want to lose her we have a 3yr son together that I truly adore and her niece lives with us.I we recently went to a marriage counselor and she still says she doesn't feel like trying that its too late cause now I see that she has her feet out the door I wanna try to do the things that she'd been asking but says its too late. Please what can I do. She's a illegal immigrant and we're in the process of getting her visa so I know that she's not with me for her papers cause she's threating to leave any advice?
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female
reader, daydreamer247 +, writes (13 December 2010):
If you felt you were wrong in not giving her the attention she needed (or perhaps deserved) you could appologize for not doing so. Then if you really wanted to try to make it work you could express that also by letting her know that you see now how you made her feel bad and unwanted and if she gave you another chance you would be there to support her in everyway. Of course I only recommend this if you truly feel this way. Otherwise she may leave you more mad than ever if you don't follow through.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): If her mind is made up there is nothing you can do. You just have to accept that you have no control over someone else's feelings and heart.
And it is true that for you to now put forth the effort after her mind has been made up, really doesn't help it only makes you look worse in her eyes because it looks selfish like you only put forth the effort when you realized you were going to lose something otherwise you still wouldn't be bothering.
Just let her go.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Sorry there's nothing you can do, this woman is spent. It sounds like she isn't getting what she wants out of this marriage anymore and it's too late for you to try to redeem yourself. Your last life line is marriage counseling, and if she doesn't have an open mind about it then like she keeps saying it's too late. In marriage counseling, both parties have to put forth the effort and practice the exercises the counselors give them at home. The counselors give you the necessary tools, but you have to put them to use. She doesn't want to do any of that, in fact she's already thrown in the towel. Your marriage is done, there's no changing her mind or trying to make it up now.
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