A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So I have been friends with this girl for 7 months and the friendship has been amazing but the one thing is I want her, but she "doesn't want to ruin the friendship", but we have been in a relationship 3 months ago but we just took some time apart, I don't want to ruin the friendship either but I don't want us to stay friends then she catches feelings for another guy (she knows what way i feel about her also)What should I do?Thanks in advance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 March 2017):
 She doesn't want to be with you, but she is still young and she is not sure how to just tell you that, so she is using your friendship as an excuse. Now you need to decide what to do. You can either have her as a friend and watch her date others, or you can take some time, get some space from her and get over her and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2017): She says she doesn't want to ruin the friendship. Guess what? It's already ruined. Move on, this is life
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (17 March 2017):
 Well then, Honey is right the relationship wasn't working for her. She restated her intentions to keep you at a distance after a month. There is a fair chance that she is just trying to let you down gently by saying she values the friendship.
I have another follow up question. How much time do you spend together per week? Do you do favors for her? Does she do things for you? I guess it's a few questions, but I'm trying to figure out how much attachment is still there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo it was about a month or so later
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 March 2017):
Good catch Honey, I misread that break bit. OP, did she give you the friendship line at the same time she initiated the Break?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 March 2017):
 OP, when people need to take a "break" from a relationship it's because it's not really working out. My guess is she likes you, but ONLY as a friend which is WHY she doesn't WANT to get back together again.
If you don't want her as a FRIEND only, I agree with Ruby in that you should withdraw from this friendship.
She WILL at some point fall for another guy and hopefully when you realize that SHE isn't for you, you will fall for another girl.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (16 March 2017):
 A relationship isn't going to happen, so you need to step back from the friendship. Be nice, but you can't be friends with her because you want more.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (16 March 2017):
The friendship is already ruined. It ended once you began developing feelings for her.
I agree with FA, who answered first - she regards you as a friend only and that's not going to change. I'm not sure that I agree she is "using" you - she might genuinely value you friendship but she's never going to see you as boyfriend material. And it's aching painful to be "friends" with someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings.
Do yourself a favour and start to withdraw from the friendship - doesn't mean you have to hate each other or be bitter enemies - you just become civil yet superficial acquaintances.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 March 2017):
"I don't want to ruin the friendship" is code for you are friend-zoned forever. Break off the "relationship" ASAP. she is using you.
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