A
male
age
30-35,
*ustfriends
writes:The girl I love said she loves me... here is the problem. She loves me but its not what I want, she won't date me and from what I have heard isn't dating nor does she want a relationship right now but she is spending a lot of time with this other guy. I have never felt this way before I know for a fact I love her and it hurts a lot that she won't be with me. I know in the past if I saw her with another guy it hurt me and I didn't talk to her for about 2 weeks. She texted me saying "I miss you" but when I texted her she didn't reply. So I know if I stop talking to her for a little bit she will miss me and this is because she loves me which does feel good. What I want to know is what can I do to change things. I want to date her so bad. If she doesn't want to date anyone that's fine but I don't like when she invites me to stuff and there are other guys and she gives them more attention than me. By the way I already know that might sound selfish but thats how I feel... SORRY. So basically what should I do? I want to date her so should I just stop talking to her for a while or what? I have heard that would help but I have also heard I should stay friends with her and friend zone hurts so much. I can be friends with girls without a problem but when I am attracted to them I have a hard time dealing with only being a friend. any kind of help would be greatly appreciated !!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): My friend was in the exact same situation . He was literally in love with this girl , who was also my friend. She would always text him cute things , hug him and kiss him as if they were dating. But she would always tell him she didn't want anything committed, and when people asked what was going on she'd tell them that he just really liked her and she felt bad for him so she played along.She did actually tell me she just loved hearing him give her compliments and having someone there for her at valentines day. And if she found someone she actually liked she'd go on a break with him and be with them . But when things didn't turn out good , she'd crawl right back to him. Eventually he started catching on and I also had to tell him , I hated seeing him get hurt like that. No one deserves that. My advice would be to find someone you deserve that actually will be with you because they like you and not just cause like they hearing compliments , and the fact that someone likes them. This girl obviously is playing you, and even though you love her , there is way more better girls out there that will love you for you , and treat you good. Don't settle down for one girl , like the other person said , you're young and her hurting you isn't worth your time. All the best !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): My advice is, if it hurts you to just be friends with her, then don't.It sounds a little bit like she likes the attention you give her, and enjoys the fact that you like her. Truth is, if she really loved you like she says, then she wouldn't act this way with other guys. When you don't talk to her for a while, and she texts saying she misses you, maybe she just misses the attention you give her.If I were in your situation, and I have been before, I would not give her the attention she craves. If she texts you, ignore it for a while, or play her at her own game and don't text back, because you are then not playing into her hands. If you act as if you don't like her, then chances are she will want you more. In that time, you may even find someone worthy of your time; someone who actually wants to be with you.You are young, don't let someone hurt you like this, if in the end, it's just won't be worth it. Go out and have fun! :)
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