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male
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*A VINCI
writes: i'm a 23 years old male i fell in love with my best friend,i told her about it and she didnt feel the same way with me,i love her so much,what should i do?
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male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (10 June 2006):
 No problem.As I said, just try to continue being a good friend, otherwise she may feel that you are turning your back on her.As was also said, try to get some more hobbies to occupy yourself and help take your mind off things.I realise that this must be a very emotional time for you both.Try not to impose your feelings on her and just make it clear that she will never lose her friend and she has your support in whatever she does.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2006): Hey, it is very true that you cant really change her feelings or force her to love u back. DO NOT keep telling her about how much u love her and how ur world revolves around her and all that dramatic stuff cos if she doesnt feel the same, she's just gonna feel worse than she already does and probably get frustrated with u and might not even wanna be anywhere near u!! So if u stil want her to be a part of ur life, then I suggest u try to see past ur feelings and remain friends but just dont communicate as often as u'd like. Spend more time doing other things with other friends-just to get ur mind off her. It helps.
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male
reader, DA VINCI +, writes (8 June 2006):
DA VINCI is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot Wendyg u have been really helpfull,you and bev conlly are extremly right in most of your advices to me,i hope i'll get to start a new life and begin working on your avices,it's just that i need time it's a big wound and needs time to heal.But in the same time i still have this little hope in her because she refuses to be clear about her feelings to me,she just goes arround the subject,without providing me with real answers.and i'm not really sure that i should keep on hoping,but i'm out of control,and all i can do is loving her right now.
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male
reader, DA VINCI +, writes (8 June 2006):
DA VINCI is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi David Lewis,thank you for replying,and thanks for the advice,but it's really hard for me to be arround her now,
i'm so dissapointed and feeling down,and i told her that i don't think i could be playing the friend part right now,and that i prefer not seeing her for a while.we've been best friends for 3 years till now but in the last 2 my feelings for her has changed a lot,and now i discovered that i truely love her,the truth is i'd love to see her at any chance i get even if it's only for 5 minutes.
and about her respond when i told her how i felt it was that she doesn't really know what to say,and that there are a lot of things that she likes in me,like my personality,my look and other things...but i dont know the way she was talking made me feel like she admires me,but she wants to redraw me the way she likes to see me,she wase'nt clear at all with what she said,even though i asked an explanation from her but she seems to have difficulties of beeing clear in this matter.i understand that she was shoked by my confession but i also told her i cant be living an illusional friendship with her and be lying to myself and to her for my feelings for her are wayyy different than the what she thinks.
she also said that she hopes i realize that i'm her only real friend...and that she has different feelings for me than all the others.
but still she was never clear about her feelings,i discovered that she's really strong and tricky,and when i ask myself why did i fall in love with her i simply cant find any answers i feel that what if i have an answer and i say it i will be really minimizing the big value of my true feelings for her.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (7 June 2006):
 Sorry, but you can't "do" anything, other than deal with the fact that she doesn't reciprocate. It's hard, and it can make it challenging to remain friends when you love her, but nothing you can do will change the truth.
A bit of self-analysis might help. Think about how your feelings have developed for her, and whether it's been proximity with her, personally, that's attracted you. (Sometimes being around someone all the time makes a mild attraction seem much more.) Hopefully, if you remove yourself from her company and concentrate on other things, or work on seeing other girls, then the feelings will fade with time.
You might also need to think about whether being friends is too much for you to handle right now, knowing that she doesn't return your feeling. It might be the smarter action to stay friends, but not see each other for some time while you learn to deal.
What I'm trying to say is, nothing you can do will change how she feels, so you can only change how you feel.
Good luck with it.
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (7 June 2006):
Well, what was her response when you told how you felt?
Just be as supportive as you can be as a friend, maybe feelings will develop over time.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (7 June 2006):
 If someone doesnt feel the same way theres not alot you can do about it unfortunately. I know its hurtful, but your gonna have to let these feelings try and fade, as you cant make someone feel the same way about you. Distract yourself and try and get yourself out there and do other things. I know its not going to go away but in time it will become easier. Shes your best friend, so your gonna have to decide whether its still ok for you being around her, as its going to feel a lot harder seeing her all the while. As you have confessed to her how you feel, shes probably feeling a little bad herself for not feeling the same way about you, but we cant all fall for the same people. If you still want to be friends with her it will be hard but you will have to look past the you love her feeling and be her friend as thats all shes wants from you. It is harsh but when someone doesnt feel the same there aint a lot you can do about it! Get out and about and see if you cant find someone else that you can pay your attentions to, someone that will love you back. There is no short term answer other than if its too painful to be around her right now distance yourself a little bit and try to get your head round that shes only wants you as a friend. Try and involve yourself in other things and hopefully get out and meet someone that will also fall in love with you.
Take care x
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