A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I recently started going out with a woman who's quite a bit younger than me (I'm 52, she's 38). The first time we made love was in a hotel room (difficult for us to have time together at either of our houses because of our children). She orgasmed half-a-dozen times, but next day complained that there was no chemistry between us because I didn't achieve orgasm (I had a great time, but I was a bit nervous and was just concentrating on keeping her satisfied). Does this make any sense? Surely she wouldn't have come that much if there had been no chemistry?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2012): As with so many other relationship problems I think that communication will likely cure this one. Have you told her why you didn't ejaculate? Maybe that is very important to her, and she was trying to let you down by bringing up chemistry?
A
female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (24 September 2012):
Are you certain that she climaxed 6 times, or was she being vocal and pretending to climax in an attempt to get you to climax?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (24 September 2012):
 I agree...I think she may have been talking about romantic chemistry because women generally value this more than sexual chemistry.
The fact that she came half a dozen times has nothing to do with chemistry at all.
She also may have a assumed that because you didn't come, that you didn't have fun or find her attractive and that could have killed any romance.
Talk to her, explain that you had a really good time and that you'd like to keep things going to see if love can blossom.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 September 2012):
 Some women don't need chemistry to climax, and some men can't come even when there is chemistry. Every one responds to sex differently. Still, an insensitive thing for her to say. When I hear something like that I would assume I don't see that person ever again. If you can put up with her you could try to explain that you are nervous. Being 38 I don't really think a woman really needs that explanation. It is hard to assume what is going on when you judge your chemistry or liking on orgasms. You need to talk to her how you feel about each other. Sometimes chemistry takes time to develop.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (24 September 2012):
 She may have assumed you weren't that attracted to her and decided to save you both the discomfort of having to reject her.
Or she may not feel any romantic chemistry with you which is why she was relaxed enough to be able to climax during sex. If you had been someone she really wanted to impress she might have been more reserved sexually and thus unable to enjoy it as much as she did.
Those are just guesses though. We won't know what is in her mind. She's made her decision and the only thing left for you is to accept it.
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