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male
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anonymous
writes: I've been on here before about this, but things have progressed and I have a few more things that I'm seeking advice on! Basically, I started going out with a girl and she then told me she was a lesbian. She said that she didn't want to lead me on anymore and I respected her decision. To be honest, I didn't expect to see/hear from her again as she knew I was interested in her and with her being a lesbian, she isn't going to be interested. However, we kept emailing each other and we still meet up every so often. The more we see each other, the more we flirt and the closer we seem to get. Nothing ever happens, but it gets to the point where I would normally make a move... there's an awkward look and then we both try and change the subject. She told her parents we're not seeing each other anymore, so I'm not just there for cover. She said to me the other night: "God, this is so frustrating. I wish I wasn't... y'know... because I'd so want you" which confuses the hell out of me. Surely, if she was 100% certain about her sexuality, there'd be nothing there. We enjoy each other's company and we get on really really well. And there's something there. I personally feel like she's confused and doesn't want to get involved with me for that reason. With Christmas coming up, it's tricky. I want to buy her a present, but at the moment, I still feel like I'm chasing her. I know that's stupid given all that she's told me, but she doesn't seem to have a problem with the flirting and suggestive comments. I only think about all this when I'm on my own. When I'm busy or hanging out with her, everything is cool. I can learn to just be friends. After a while, I will get bored of waiting, but I feel that she likes me. So, come on and let me know... should I stay or should I go?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2005): I have a gay guy friend like this. We never went out but we are very close and he often comments that if he weren't gay we'd be bf/gf. We flirt with each other for fun but we both know it's just that..fun. When we go out to bars and stuff and neither of us feels like getting picked up we pretend to be a couple. I think you friend here is probably gay but that she does know if she weren't you would be her type. You could have a relationship if it turned out she was a little bit bi but you need to understand that if she's not, the potential reason she's sending you mixed signals is because she's attracted to your personality but because she goes for chicks in sexual sense you wouldn't be able to fill her total needs. Its a bit like the way straight girls have best girlfriends that they share everything with but still need a man.
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (22 December 2005):
 It almost sounds like rather than losing a good friend sh is leading you on by making you think she could one day develop feelings. That is just my opinion ofcourse, and I have been known to read these things wrong on occasion, but after breaking up with you why else would she continue contact? I feel that you are not going to hurt anything by continuing a friendship with her as long as you realize that it will never be more than that. I hope all goes well.
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