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She claims she only lied the 3 times I found out about it!

Tagged as: Cheating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Sorry for length :(

Alright,

SO I was with this girl for 1 and a half years. She was my first love and I really did care for her. About 8 months into it I had found out in the previous months that she had messaged a guy"J" on facebook and given him her number. When i found out, I drove to her house and confronted her about it, and she claimed that she hadnt talked to him other than on facebook and that she had given him her number because "we had a fight that night and she felt alone". Well in months to follow I found that she has been looking at "her ex's"C" fb profile and J's fb along with another guy"M".When I asked her about this, she said oh I just like making fun of "C".. and that she was just being nosey with "J and M". (yet she hates when I call her nosey)

("C" was her longest relationship before ours and he was also her first love)

I have never been a jealous type until she started with this behavior. She then told me that "M" had been coming into her work trying to get with her, which made me think she liked him.

Many weeks/months later...

(about 3 weeks ago)

( we had a big fight about 3 days before she started hanging out with "R" and she didnt come home and i found that she was looking at "M"s fb profile this night)

She finally started talking to one of her best friends"R" from a few years ago who stopped talking to her because she didnt like me. (this girl is a ..whore).. and over the course of 2 days she said she wanted to move to cookeville. So we broke up saying it was for the best and she cried and told me to call her or text her anytime that she still loved me and that it would take her a LONG time to find someone new.

So the next morning she brought me breakfast before work which was wierd. And she was talking about still hanging out and doing stuff and I was fine with it.

So that same day, she went to cookeville with "R" to look for apartments. When she got back, she picked me up from work and we went and hung out with "R". When we got a few minutes of alone time, she started telling me how she wasnt going to have money to move and how she wanted to stay here and get back together. Well that made me happy and I was like yea alright sounds good.

When we got back to my place I picked up her phone.. and then she jumped on me fighting me for her phone and yelled for "R" to come help her get it.

(i finally got it)

She then told "R" in a disgusted voice that I was going to "see the texts"

I found out that while she had been in Cookeville she was texting "M" who is going to college there... and she said she was just trying to hook "M" up with "R" and thats why they were texting, and "R" came in the room to confirm this. So after reading all the texts I found out that she was flirting with him and "was so excited that they we going to meet up and hang out".

And when i questioned her for the 100th time, she finally started crying and told me that she just wanted to "talk to him and see what he was doing".

(over next week lots of fights and bs)

heard rumors that she had cheated on previous boyfriends but she says she hasnt

SO we were talking the other day and I brought up "J" and she said I only texted him about me...

NOTE: she told me she didnt text him when "J" was brought up

So for about the past week and a half she has been texting me every minute of everyday trying to prove she loves me still and wants to be with me.

One night about 5 days ago... she didnt text me after work... or the next day (until i text her that afternoon)...

i went over her house and we were having casual conversation and I asked her what she did... she just said oh nothing just sat around and stuff.

So then 3 nights ago... i was at the Local Rec Center playing with friends and she stopped texting me for and hour or so... so i finally texted her and she was oh i thought you were busy... so i went by her house and she wasnt there... so i texted her and asked her where she was.... and she said im walking with "K"..

"K" is one of mine and my brothers friends

(originally my brothers but we get along well and he is a nice guy)

So i was like who is "K"... not realising it was the "k" i knew... and I was shocked... she claimed they were just friends... but havent talked (besides when they were over my house) in years!

so she ended up coming to my house and we were talking and I said "So im guess the other night when you didn't text me, you were hanging out with "K" too ... and she said.. yea so..

I then explained how that is considered lying and she cried and cried and claimed her love for me and that they just talked about me and he was a "good listener"...

She claims she has lied to me just these times that I have found out... which i think is another lie...

I need opinions!

Has she most likely lied before?

(if i asked her and she said no, could it be because she doesn't remember)

How can I trust her again?

What do I even do right now... im so confused/hurt/disappointed.

View related questions: best friend, broke up, facebook, flirt, get back together, jealous, money, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010):

a leopard never changes it's spots. she will always be a liar and you are better off without her. you will never truly trust her again, it will always be in the back of your mind and will undermine the whole relationship.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010):

She is a chronic liar and you are plan "B". I would bet money that she has lied many times before. Can't put it any simpler than that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010):

You said it yourself...she's only still with you cuz she didn't have the $ to move.

She's a golddigger and a liar. She'll leave you the second someone richer shows interest. Cut your losses now and tell her to get lost!

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A female reader, *cHrIsTiNa*  +, writes (29 August 2010):

wow! well honestly I think she is using u as a sideline because whenever she is short out of luck she runs to u.. now if she loves u maybe she does but she is not ready for a serious relationship she wants to maybe go through some mistakes before she realizes what a good guy she has lost I think u deserve better and someone u can trust and love and they show u tenderness love care and compassion.. I honeslty think u need to get out with the old and in with the new....

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