A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay well me and my fiance have been together for a little over two years now. When we first started dating she cheated on me with one of my bestfriends and that went on for about a week and her excuse was she didnt think we had a serious relationship, well we got past that but ive been paranoid ever since, and then a couple months ago she was talking/hanging out with this one guy (wether or not they did anything is unknown but I still call it cheating) and anyway I found out about it and we fixed it, she broke whatever she had with him off and he turned out to be a psycho and jumped me with brass knuckles giving me 10 staples in my head...but to my question...what do I do? I'm constantly paranoid cause every time she goes out with her friends I have to worry shes cheating on me. We've discussed it before and she says she likes the attention but I give her plenty of attention. I just hate being the paranoid boyfriend always questioning her cause then she gets mad that I question her...i dont know, we have a great relationship (yes I know she cheated me but when you look past that we do have a great relationship) but I hate feeling like this
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female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (21 August 2011):
 "yes I know she cheated me but when you look past that we do have a great relationship"
When you look past that, huh? Problem is, you can't look past that. And you shouldn't. This girl cheated on you and continues to mock you and your relationship by still talking to other guys and flirting constantly. You SHOULDN'T trust her. She's given you no reason to. I think you should break up with her and find a girl who hasn't broken your trust, because you've proven that it's a very hard thing to get back. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): You don't have a great relationship.
"I'm constantly paranoid cause every time she goes out with her friends I have to worry shes cheating on me."
With good reason.
"We've discussed it before and she says she likes the attention but I give her plenty of attention."
Until she realizes why she is a cheater, she won't be able to figure out why she needs so much attention, which is more realistically called "re-affirmation of her attractiveness and desirability" which will lead her to cheat.
"When we first started dating she cheated on me with one of my bestfriends and that went on for about a week"
Cheating early in a relationship is a bad sign of issues around trust and relationships.
"then a couple months ago she was talking/hanging out with this one guy"
But you didn't know it, and you still don't know what she was really doing with him. That is cheating.
Move on, get yourself some help and read and understand that people cheat because of their own issues, and you can't fix those issues.
Let her move on, and you find someone who won't cheat on you.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (20 August 2011):
You have to ask yourself what is more important to you, this woman, or your peace of mind. Because you don't have both and I doubt you ever will.
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