A
male
age
41-50,
*hat2arun
writes:hi. i dated a girl for 4 years and she left for her studies to USA and then we were in touch online. she never wanted to leave me. but she left. in tow years we never met after that. she came back and we married. she went back to continue her studies and then now when i came to meet her in usa she was having an affair with a guy. i didnt know what to do. i asked her and she said sorry and said she didnt mean to hurt me and was trying to get back to me and end that relation of other guy. she said she just got carried away and was trying her best to get me back. for once she thought to get married to that guy as she thought i will leave her anyhow. then she decided not to. i had this dilemma of what to do now. i forgave her as i loved her very much. i could not have left her crying. i can never see her in pain. i said its ok and did not leave her. now is always nagging about my failures which are notmuch and also complaining. i feel she is comapring me with that guy. i dont know if i had done the right decision.. pls advice
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): I know how you feel. I'm not married, but after being cheated on I found myself always comparing myself to the other girl. In the end the relationship ended because I couldn't deal with always being worried about him cheating on me. To be honest, you deserve better. I'm assuming you were faithful when she was away? Even if she got "caught up" in the affair and was trying to "get back at you" she broke her vows. If I got married and someone cheated on me, I would give them a chance but I also would realize that they could do the same thing when I'm away again. And that is grounds for separation at least.
Sorry about the ramble, I think you should trust your instincts, It definitely sounds like you have doubts with your choice. Could you take her back with the knowledge of what she's done? Make it known that having an affair even if your miles apart is WRONG.
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