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male
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anonymous
writes: i need help about a month a go me and my girlfriend broke up we had been together for about a year. we knew each other since we were kids and then she moved away. A friend of mine was seeing her and through that became friends again. I fell in love with her right away and did not want to start problems with my friend so held my feelings for months untill they broke up and let it out to my superise she felt the same way. Our time together was rough alot to do with my stupid ways. One day after a couple of weeks of fighting she broke up with me. at first it didn't hurt but after a couple of weeks it hurts like crazy. A friend of mine called me to inform me that she changed her phone number which i don't get i never tried once to call her or bother her. I miss her so much. I have been with other girls since but can't stop thinking of her. I wonder everyday why she changed her number when i respected her wish and just disapperaed from her life. I want to contact her but don't know how i love her so much and miss her like crazy. do i even have a chance again help me please thanx j in dallas
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female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Why do guys always asume if you change your number it's down them. I change my number all the time just mostly because so many people of got i get calls from people know me but i don't know them.
Just because she changed her number after your break up doesn't mean it as anything to do with you, sorry.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Her changing her phone number could have been because she was tired of getting telemarketers, or because her number was too close to the one of the local pub, or because she wanted one that was easier to remember, or any of a dozen reasons. It may not have had anything to do with you.
I can tell that you miss her, but if she's actually asked you to "disappear from her life", then you're just going to have to file your curiosity away and deal with it. You may never know why she changed it.
It sounds like your breakup was pretty bad if the "disappearing" sort of statement was made, so at this stage of things you can only give her the space she wants. I wouldn't contact her again, even though you want to.
Maybe in a few months you could text to say hi, or even write her a postal letter (remember those?). If you do, keep things very short and very light, and don't think assume that she will have changed her mind. You just set yourself up for disappointment if you do.
Try to stay busy with friends, with work and with plenty of extracurricual activities, and you WILL find that the pain and longing starts to dwindle over time. Try to assume that you weren't the reason for her number change, since you never rang her.
Try to make sure that any mutual friends have a way of contacting you, so she can phone you if she has a change of heart, but you always have to assume that what you have now is what you have for the future. Try not to get your hopes up.
I'm sorry, but I hope this helps a little.
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