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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend has problems dealing with past relationships. She puts a lot of guilt on herself. How can I make her understand that dating before marriage is normal and nothing to be really ashamed of ? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank U girls for your nice answers. Yeah ,I guess some bad things happened coz she feels embarrassed to talk about it and she wishes it never happened. Cheers , thanks again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): You are correct, dating is a selection process and it's an important stage of life people go through to learn how about dating a variety of people, developing new friends and interests, learning how to live with and care for oneself and becoming idependent. These are the ways young people learn who they are and what makes them unique. Maybe you should just tell her this and keep reassuring her, that we all need to experience it and most of us , go through it. If she's feeling guilt..did she go through any trauma or unusually hard time, prior to you? Perhaps she holding onto some painful memory she cannot let go of. Ask her and if not...then give her time and keep supporting her. Keep her looking forward and not back. Good luck to the both of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): The best you can do is to keep reassuring her how much you love her and how special she is to you. We all have past relationship and stuff that goes with them. If we could erase the slate every time we all would but we can't. I have issues with my past that i will never tell anyone about (they really are bad) so i know to some extent how she must feel. My fella is very understanding and doesn't push to find out what is in my head, which i really appreciate. You must be the same and she has to stop feeling guilty. Nothing that can be said or done can undo the past. It's gone.
I hope you two have a brilliant future. I wish you well.x
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