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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hi I don't know what to do. I'm 19 and my g/f - who's 22 - broke up with me over a week ago after asking me to stay for a week at her house. It came as a shock to me and I am still very hurt but she says she can't take the emotions involved and that she prefers being single and not having to worry about hurting me or the other way around. She said she still wants to be friends and meet up and hang out but only as friends. This is not what I want. I feel like she's led me on since the begining when she told me I had changed her feelings towards relationships and that I could be the one and seeing as this was my first relationship it's been very stressful. I've lost my appetite and of course thats caused me to lose weight. We still talk via email and I still tell her I love her but she seems to ignore this. How can I get her back?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 April 2006):
 Better that she has told you now than a year down the line, you cannot do anything to change her mind as she seems to have decided that a relationship with you is not for her, she has been honest and the week you spent a together seems to have been the decider for her.
She is being gentle with you telling you she wants to remain friends, but she is not lying to you by telling you she still loves you.
You must stop seeing her and keeping in contact with her, yes I know this is not what you want to hear and loosing her is the last thing you want but you do have to accept that you have lost her and you need to move on.
You need to eat as this will just make you ill, you are a lovely bloke who just needs to find the right girl and this takes time, most people have a lot of relationships and go through a lot of hurt and pain before they find there right partner it is just part and parcel of life, love and the universe.
Take care and let her go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2006): Tell her you care about her but don't want to be her friend, you want to be her bf. If that's not what she wants, you can understand and accept that, but it looks like you're just not on the same page. Then cut the contact. She has some issues she needs to deal with, and having you as an everything-but-bf isn't going to make that any easier. Let her go. You might just find she comes back to you in the end.
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