A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, me and my bf broke up and now we are trying to get back together. she started to date her Bestfriend knowing she still loved me. The thing is the reason she broke up with me was because she says that she is not my first priority in life. That im always busy and that basicly thats the reason she broke up with me. hes always at home doing nothing, and thats how he can devote his time to her. What things are reasonable things to do that will make her b my priority person in my list? Like i was hanging out with my friends today and she called and she was moody because i was busy hanging out with them. IM always going out with them at night and i guess thats one of the things. whats another way that I can make her feel prioritized. I really want to save this relationship please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): Thanks for your suggestions, well We talked and well i told her I would change and i have so far. she picked me but her bestfriend stopped talking to her, now she gets sad because he ignores her. Shes thinking of forgetting both of us if she cant have both. Im thinking she doesn['t love me and i have confronted this with her and she has said she wasnt sure if she loved me. How can she check if she loves me or is it just lust? Thanks!
A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (13 February 2011):
 Well, girls require a lot of attention. Hanging out with your friends every night and excluding her from this circle is quite painful to her. I know, you have a social life outside the relationship, which is excellent, but make sure you keep a balance between these two so she can feel loved and taken care of. Feeling unimportant in a relationship is the most painful thing a girl can go through. My ex-boyfriend was also hanging out with friends, but we were LDR so he'd text me every time he was with them, telling me how he wanted me to be there too (we didn't break up because of that though).So all you can do is include her in your activities or do things together. Limit the hangouts with your friends to 2-3 times a week, and dedicate some of your time to her. If she's really not important to you, you should move on with your life, it'd be best for her. Ask her about her favorite movie and buy tickets so you can go watch it, go take long walks in park if she likes it... You'll find something.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 That's one thing, for instance : do you really need to hang out with your friends every night ? Could it not be every other night so that you can free some hours for your gf ?
How much of the stuff you do is really more important or interesting than her ?...
Don't get me wrong : a guy MUST have a life- hobbies, passions, interests. A guy who's got nothing else to do other than romance his gf may be a bit flattering to the girl at first, but pretty soon becomes boring and smothering.
It's all a matter of balance though. If you have school and then friends and sports and games and your favourite shows /music and your Facebook contacts and the gym and this and that... then of course she feels like an afterthought or worse something you use to kill time when there is nothing better going on.
I don't know how you fill your time, so it's up to you to decide what it is that you keep doing out of real passion, and what out of habit or convenience. Cut drastically back on these last ones and you'll have time for a gf too.
Another thing, is finding something that interests both and that you can do together. Taking some class, or playing a sport, or playing an instrument. The time you spend together does not necessarily have to be spent all making out and being lovey dovey- sharing a hobby or interest strengthens your bond and gives you something to talk about.
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