A
male
,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid,Well !it's been just over 6 months since my girlfriend and I broke up after being together over 3 years. Since breaking up, my life has been a roller coaster of emotions ! My ex-girlfriend would not talk to me one day and then the next she would call unexpectly, invite me out for dinner or coffee. The body language between us during our get togethers was fantastic ! I would phone her the next day and she would be as cold as a fish towards me ????I still love her deeply !Some 2 weeks ago, I said enough is enough and decided not to return any of her texts or phone calls as I needed some space of my own !!!!!She's phone me recently, worried that something was wrong with me !!Where do I go from here with her ????
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male
reader, DreamMaster +, writes (3 December 2005):
Well mate, this girl is playing with your emotions all right, and the roller coaster will continue until you take some decisive action, something I am glad to see you have already started to do.
Optimistically she might be having difficulty with the break up. But from the sounds of it I am going to assume she was the driving force behind the decision to break up.
So it is more realistic to assume that she is keeping you at arms length because she probably wants you to fall back on if she doesn’t meet someone else. This is bad for you no matter what the outcome.
If she meets someone else you are going to get dropped like a hot potato. IF she gets back with you, she will probably have very little respect for the relationship, or your feelings, and you will find the relationship unrewarding; it is highly unlikely to return to its former glory.
She is not playing fair by toying with you whenever she feels in the mood. You might just be the bigger person and tell her to stop contacting you, that you want to get on with your life. Six months is a LONG time to be getting over a break-up, and you are never going to be able to get on with your life while she is behaving like this. This coffee thing is a bad idea from your point of view – all of this has to stop
It is a real pity that you still love her, as this will make things more difficult for you, but you need to accept that the relationship has been over for a long long time, and you need to use your time find someone else with whom you can have a more rewarding relationship.
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