A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 26 and my girlfriend is 24. We have been together for 2.5 years and have been living together for 2 years. She had a bad ex-boyfriend who abused her physically and mentally and unfortunately brought a hell of a lot of insecurities to the relationship.I put up with these thinking that they would subside. They seemed to but it took about 2 years to do so. I was even thinking about marriage and even children with this girl until a night out 2 weeks ago where she just blew up in my face with total, utter jealousy. I now feel like I've had enough and want to end it (I almost left a year ago) and can now only think about how free I would feel on my own. I know her problems are not her fault but they are not my fault either?!If anyone can help me out on this it would be very much appreciated.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Her problems ARE her fault. What's happened to her in the past is one thing, but how she treats others and what she chooses to do with her life are completely within her control.
Unfortunately, you can't change her, and she doesn't want to change herself. She wants to be understood and pitied. She did you a favor by showing you her true personality before you married her.
The last thing you need is physical and verbal abuse yourself. Tell her that it's not working out with her, and end the relationship. Do NOT stay friends with her, and end the contact with her.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 June 2010):
I think you just have to explain that you've decided the relationship isn't working out, and that you think it's time to move on. You're right to end it. Too many people put up with this sort of treatment. Yes, she has her problems and she has been badly treated beforehand. But those problems should have been dealt with by her before she got into a relationship. You've stood by her and done your best, but there is nothing else you can do now. Keep it short and calm, and just tell her it's not working out.
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