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*enoSilk
writes: i was in bed with my girlfriend about 2 months ago, she was asking me lots of questions about her female friends, who is prettiest e.t.c bar a couple of questions i could only answer with 1 girl's name as she wouldnt let me just pick her the whole time i had to choose 1 of her friends. So jokingly i said "ha ha, she's just perfect really" my girlfriend took this to heart, now its causing major problems with us, she doesnt believe me when i tell her she's beautiful or what i think of her and there is no way i can make her feel better, if you were in her position what would calm you down and make you feel better about the whole situation, hope this makes sense. thankyou Reply to this Question
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male
reader, XenoSilk +, writes (7 September 2006):
XenoSilk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your help everyone, you've given some really good advice and i feel much better and now i know exactly how to handle it.
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (7 September 2006):
 I don't understand why you answered her question at all (???). And it was stupid of her to ask that - what is she trying to do - cause drama? Sure sounds like it. I would just try to avoid anything that comes up about that friend of hers and keep telling your girlfriend that she is beautiful and why you are dating her (don't compare her to her friend, though). She will most likely get over it, but if she doesn't then it means that there is a deeper problem and you need to help her get out of this low self esteem rut. Try talking to her about what's really bothering her at that point. Try to be understanding and remain positive. Even though you were joking, she obviously doesn't think it was all in fun and you need to get the both of you out of this hole you guys have created. Good luck.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 September 2006):
 You got suckered into one of the oldest traps, a true "heads I win, tails you lose" kinda thing. There is no way to answer questions like that without repercussions. Next time say you don't want to play that game. Stop apologizing she'll forget about it sooner or later, if she doesn't get over it you may want to move on. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): Stop running round after her now, by keep saying your sorry your drilling it into her head that uv actually done something wrong when she is in the wrong. everyone does it iv done it but when youre feeling insecure. your girlfriend was being manipulative and its backfired on her, why don't you try asking her the same questions, just because you had to choose between a few people doesn't mean u fancy that girl, chances are u don't fancy any of them but she MADE you choose, don't grovel anymore.
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (7 September 2006):
 Remember that you can say "no". No-one can force you to do or say anything that you don't want to, so maybe you shouldn't have agreed to answer such stupid questions. She's insecure yes, but perhaps she was still testing to see if you would insist that none are as beautiful as she and refuse to answer, in which case, serves her right really!
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reader, davie  +, writes (7 September 2006):
She was the one who put you in a difficult position by asking such questions, and demanding detailed answers. What was she expecting? I suspect she was trying to compare herself to her friends through your answers.
I don't think you've done anything wrong, but do see the situation you're now in. Maybe you could try sitting her down and tell her how it really is - that you were joking, you think she is beautiful and you want to be with her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. my god, if she can't handle the answer to a question she MADE you answer, then that's her problem. especially since she told you that you couldn't respond with her name. i mean, she obviously put you in a lose/lose situation. anyway, she's clearly got security issues, and trust issues, or else she'd be able to laugh it off. any stable individual could handle what you said.
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