A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend dont seem to be interested in having sex with me anymore she will hardly talk to me about it and when we do she make me feel as tho im just using her for sex. fair enough she is a mum and she is with the baby all day. but i do 12 hours at work everyday and when i come home all i want to do is try and spend time with her alone just me and her.but when i come on to her she always rejects me and its really getting me down i get sexually frustrated quickly. ive eased up on trying to come on to her ive tried 4 times in the last 6 weeks can you please help me ???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): Go to the doctor to discuss her low sex-drive..helloooooo!!
She is aged between 16-17, a full-time Mum with a young baby presumably, she is very likely exhausted both emotionally and physically, the demands on a females body and emotions to have a baby is underestimated, and add to this, she is very young to cope with all these new experiences.
The first couple of years after having a baby can be tough for any mother, but for one who is so young, doubly so as she has no 'grown up experinces of life to draw upon'
I think ' ask chloe's ' advice is really helpful, this young girl needs to be able to tap into herself again, as a person in her own right - getting a baby sitter, you cooking dinner, making her feel good about herself, excellent ideas.
And you sound so caring, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice, so try some of the things Chloe suggests.
Just one thing, how old is the baby, you don't mention, only it is possible your girlfriend could be suffering with some post-natal depression, as new Mums have hormones all over the place. Also things like, whether she had a normal labour, stitches, caesarean etc can all takes it toll on getting back to normal. So just keep being supportive and see how things pan out over the next few weeks with your additional
help.
Good luck with all this..and romance her a bit ;-)
Jilly x
A
female
reader, jodie-alice-x +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Personally I think that women do tend to get less interested in sex after giving birth for a few months after having the baby especially if it was via natural birth because she may feel uncomfortable that you will think she has a larger area since she gave birth which will put her self confidence down to rock bottom when it comes to sexual thoughts and ideas. Bring her into the fact you want to have sex with her slowly, dropping things in like calling her sexy to start with, kissing her neck and tickling her, doing something romantic to get her all loved up and in the mood, and then she should give in and give you what you want. All the best of luck.
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A
female
reader, ask chloe +, writes (4 August 2010):
It can make some women feel very uncofotable with all the preconcerption in the media of mens attidues on sex,but i'm sure the majority of men arn't like this but it doesn affect a womens attitude towards why a men might want her sexually.
Have you tried approaching it in a different way,here is an idea for you.
As a busy mum she probably doesn't have much switch off time so surpirse her,ask her to find a babysitter for the night as you want some quality time with her,run her a bath,cook dinner that night,give her a massage but most importantly tell her how beautiful she is to you,that making love with her makes you feel connected to her.
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A
female
reader, low desire 7  +, writes (4 August 2010):
Hi,
Perhaps you should ask her to visit the doctor to discuss her low sex drive. Do you think she would go to the doctor to discuss this??
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