A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am with my first girlfriend ever and also the first girl I have ever slept with. We have been together for 6 months and she says I make her happier than anyone else ever has. Well we were close friends for nearly 3 years before we started going out and she had a very very very rocky relationship with another guy for most of that time- they broke up all the time but always ended up back together. I always wanted to ask her out when they were on a split but never got the courage until recently... I am very happy to be with her, we have a good sex life but there is a problem.My girlfriend loves to go to clubs and bars with her girlfriends. She goes there without any money and flirts with guys so they will buy her drinks, and she also dances with them. She tells me about them sometimes, like last night she met a "big black guy" who was an "awesome dancer" and who bought her lots of drinks. She said it was a great time. She says she never makes out with them or sleeps with them but I worry that she might... her girlfriends always end up bringing guys home... I am worried that they will be a bad influence on her... or that she will get too drunk one day and make a mistake... It makes me uncomfortable, but since this is my first g/f I am not sure if it is normal or not. I have not said anything because she's been doing this for years before we started dating and I don't feel that its my place. Plus her ex never seemed to have a problem with it so I wonder if it is just in my head.I hate to picture her dancing with other men and flirting with them... I don't flirt or dance with other women, I hardly even go out to bars or clubs, its not my thing... What do I do...
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): She may simply need the attention to make her feel attractive, sexy, or whatever. She may never take anyone home to bed, but my opinion is that she eventually will. Maybe she will be too drunk one time or just decide to try it once. If it happens, she may feel really bad and try to never do it again. If she likes the experience than she may want to do that all the time. She probably doesn't know what she wants at this point, so no one can else even hope to guess. I too would be worried.
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (6 October 2007):
Really fellow, is she the kind of girl you want to be with. I think your hopes for a LTR is slim to nil.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Here is my 2 cents. Typically older girls know the deal but younger girls don't. What deal is that you ask? Girls go to clubs to dance and have fun (and sometimes meet a guy). Guys go to clubs to find a girl to take back to his or her place. Period, end of story. Guys buy girls drinks and dance with them to help increase their odds of completing their mission (get a girl in bed). Club dancing is usually very sexual to begin with. Your girlfriend might be the type of younger woman who thinks guys go to clubs for the same reason she does (for fun). I also KNOW that if she goes to clubs ALOT and hangs with friends that like to bring random guys home after knowing them for 20 minutes that eventually it will be a problem for you. She is surrounded by friends who think there is nothing wrong with it. Some girls are less likely to behave in that manner if they think their friends will view them as "slutty".The bottom line- She either stops going to clubs so often and flirting with other guys or your relationship will end soon. You should talk with her about how you feel and if she gets upset at the discussion then you will know she prefers the club scene to being with you.
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