A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, Ok I will cut a long story short.I am almost 18 and am in my final year of 6th form (College) in my high school.I have been in love, yes, that's right, IN love with my previous head of year for 5 years now (he was my head of year for 6) Well actually to be frank, I only grew to fall IN love with him about 3 or 4 years ago, however my feelings for him were strong and in progress since 5 years back. I know you've heard it all before, but really, i don't think i need to emphasise how genuine this is.I know everything about him as he does me, we have the strongest friendship that some may say is inappropriate for a teacher/student. It is all innocent i guess, there have been times when I, and other students/teachers have noticed moments of stepping over the boundaries, but I've past that.Anyway, so we have an amazing friendship, we used to open up to eachother about everything, my problems, his issues every now and then, he has helped me grow and come out stronger with my problems in life.I have never met a man who meets all my needs in every possible way. I know he probably knows how I feel, only I NEED to get it off my chest, surely one can understand that?I am not going to ruin his career, i am simply asking, what is wrong in telling him how i feel and helping me get it all ofmy chest, at the end of the academic year when I leave for university? I strongly believe i should, as I feel i need to in order to be stable phyically and mentally, as right now, he has this hold on me in every aspect of my life, and he doesn't realise this effect.Advice would be much appreciated!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): Hey..i Know exactly how you feel!!! I still have a crush on a teacher from my high school and I am in my second year of college. It amazes me how much I care about him and I dont want to call it love but it is definately not a crush. Anyway I was going to do exactly what you want to do...tell him at graduation. But I never got my chance because he left early. But I did go back to visit several times during my breaks when I was away and I eventually told him last February after we had an hour conversation and he basically hinted at me that he would date me if I wasnt only 18 and I just graduated the year before and even though I did not get the answer I wanted..I felt more relieved because I got it off my chest. So I suggest you wait a few months and go back and visit if you still have feelings. If they are true feelings...you will still have them in a few months after you graduate. Good luck!!!
A
female
reader, aureliuslover  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 how i wish i have a relationship like that to my teachers!
a student-teacher relationship is a forbidden love(as majority says......). you need to let it go but in a safe way. if you would tell it to him, do it in a private way so that he may not loose his job. you need to wait until you grtaduate but you can date him for this time.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 October 2008):
You have to look at this from the point of view of "what is best for him" rather than "when is he first opportunity I can liberate my feelings."
Look at it from an outsiders point of view. If others have noticed things in previous years, no matter how minor, and then you come out and tell him this as soon as it's barely legally possible without him getting arrested for it... then it is still going to raise suspicions about him. It's not fair but it's not worth the risk to him either.
If you are going off to uni then you will be back at Christmas before the end of the school term. Everyone will know you have had no contact with him since you left and you will be completely off the books as far as still being a "school girl."
I think you should wait till Christmas to come back and tell him. This way rather than saying "I love you" and then having to leave and have all that drama, you can do it as an adult and even go out for a drink and a catch up with him.
If you've waited this long then another 6 months won't hurt you. But doing it too soon could hurt him so give him a huge safety buffer of time to protect him.
Plus you'll have so much more to talk to him about if you've been off at uni studying and joining to the paragliding society.
AND he'll know it's far more serious if you still feel the same after being away from him. Where as no matter how real your feelings are, they may still be perceived as a crush if you do it too soon.
Good Luck!! xx
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