A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is my first time even attempting something like this, so I'll try to make it brief!I have a very good Dutch female friend of mine who lives across the Channel in the Netherlands. I've known her for at least 2 years, ever since I was a student over there and she was dating my best friend. We found that we both shared a lot in common, the same music/TV shows/films, and more importantly we could make each other laugh! I've stayed in touch with her ever since, via email and WhatsApp.When I was last in the Netherlands in April, she invited me to an evening meal with her before I had to travel elsewhere. It was a wonderful night, and I realised just how much I enjoyed being around her. Obviously I'm not 100% certain, but I think she felt the same way about me too, otherwise why invite me? We started flirting on WhatsApp and chatting until 0100/0200 in the morning; if I ever shared a link or posted something on Facebook, she would always comment on them without fail. I think she's 'liked' every status I've posted since we first became friends! And she always questioned me on what I looked for in a girlfriend, and dropped subtle hints on the type of guy she'd like to meet Sadly for me, she got herself a boyfriend over the summer. I'll be honest and say that I took this hard. I felt so stupid that I'd let her go without telling her how I truly felt. Coupled with the fact that she now has a job, our WhatsApp conversations are few and far between. But two weeks ago, she invited me to stay at her apartment for the upcoming New Years' Eve; the downside is, her boyfriend will most likely be there too!So I don't know what to do. I have such strong feelings for her, and I want to go to hers on NYE mostly to tell her how I feel. Deep down, I think she still has some feelings for me -- she still likes everything I post on Facebook, and enjoyed that I am now bearded!And yet it would supremely awkward if her boyfriend is also in the apartment, if I tell her I love her! So common sense tells me that I should grow up, accept that she is with another man, and move on.So do I take the plunge and tell her how I feel, or do I accept the situation that she's in and carry on with my life?It's really tough, so I'd appreciate some answers. Or blunt criticism, I don't mind at all!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2014): Temperatures will reach arctic with the 3 of you together.
Do not go there for NYE.
You've had 2 years to make a move. What's the rush now.
If as you say, she still has feelings for you, then her current relationship won't last. Then you can swoop in.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2014): Please don't take this as a criticism; however, she's in a relationship and it isn't right to interfere in a relationship.
The current relationship she is in may not last. If it ends, jump right in there and tell her how you feel!
A cousin of mine has a good male friend, and when she ran into trouble in her relationship, and it ended, she cried on his shoulder. Couple of years later she married, and the marriage didn't last. Her male friend, who is now her husband :) , told her, "now that you're single I am not letting you go" He told her how he felt about her. They are now married and happy.
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