A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:It will soon be the birthday of my ex from 18 month ago. We work in the same building. The breakup came quick, I found out she had been seeing someone else I walked hurt, asked no questions. from that day we have both have been hot and cold with each other, I guess not quite knowing how to behave around each other, on times I think maybe I've bee too hard on her. She has given signs of jealousy at work when I speak to other girls/women she has also shown small signs of trying to get my attention.More than anything I don't like the atmosphere between us, I won't deny I love her but understand sometimes its not two way.I miss my friend, I know she can't really like how its turned out, I feel that neither of us will say anything to the other in case of total rejection. The other guy is now over and I know his intentions were never serious. I have kept my dignity very well.What I want to do is very simple.. Is on her birthday send her a text wishing her happy birthday and then say in the shortest terms. I miss you in my life and I don't like the way things are between us we are all you human and make mistakes but at the same time it is not because I am desperate but because I want it sorted, if she chooses only to be my friend I would prefer that.Can anyone give me any guidance on the best type of wording for this approach and any views, thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): no texts and NO FLOWERS. it send the wrong message. WHY? IN YOUR CASE SHE MOVED ON. if i remember correctly you posted a few times regarding this situation. if you keep contact with her then you will never move on with your life. 18 months later you are still in limbo. i beleieve in yur case, maybe no contact or even acknowledgement may be the best. you will ultimately decide what to do but you are looking for a window of opportunity. you are still young, but hankering on the unavailable person. sometimes all we have is our pride left. yes you loved her, may still do. but to be "friends", you just want some aspect of her in your life. cutting off all ties. for you, will be the best. 18 months and no one else to replace her. time to dust yourself off and try agagin.steve, card and flowers yes, normally i will agree. (sorry have to disagree Steve)but not in this situation. our OP needs to move on. 18months is a long time to still want "something". sometimes the only way to move forward in our lives is to cut ties with the very people hold us back emotionally.
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