A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, I slept with a girl drunkenly the other day. She also happens to be a friend/colleague. I wasn't sure whether my feelings for her were anything but friends but now after what has happened I am definitely developing feelings for her. I am starting to get the constant thoughts about her and getting excited about meeting up with her. We have met up and just lay with each other , kissed and chatted again but I cannot tell how she feels about me in return. I am not one to just casually sleep with people (ironic after sleeping with her whilst being so drunk I don't remember I know but...) and would like to make things gradually more serious but I am also fully aware that, especially nowadays, people are into casual relationships so i'm scared to bring anything up in case I am being too full on so early on. Do I just let things take whatever path it will and risk it turning into nothing or should I ask her how she feels about the situation and risk scaring her off?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): I agree with Aunthonesty, I think you're panicking a bit for no reason. Just go with the flow and gently increase your visible interest in her.
OP over-thinking things is the enemy of a good time, so chill out and see where this goes.
Casual is how pretty much all good relationships start out, whether that's casual dating and no sex or whether sex has been introduced into a pre-existing friendship.
You want things to gradually become more serious so just make the right moves and have fun. Serious conversations at this moment are not needed and will most likely be counter-productive, so just assume the best until you have reason not to.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 July 2012):
 I don't think you should have a big serious talk with her, but I do think you need to show her that you are interested in her. She probably has the same questions as you do however she is feeling and I guess you just need to show interest and take it from there.
Ask her out on a date. Be flirty with her, show her you care. Make arrangements to meet up and see if she responds.
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