A
female
age
30-35,
*macrine
writes:Hello! This is kind of awkward, but I've got nothing to lose. Please forgive me because of my English, it is not my mother tongue.I've liked an introvert guy in my class for a long time now. I(21/f) have a feeling that he(22/m) is also interested in me. My friends and I catch him staring at me and whenever I look at the classroom he changes his posture, so I can notice him(probably). I know he is pretty introverted, he rarely speaks in class and has barely friends. At break times he just sits in his seat and does nothing. I am an ambient, more extrovert even, but past experiences left me with scars and i am pretty shy, that's why I never had the courage to go and talk with him. I have added him on FB, though. He accepted and we chatted two times. At the end of the last one, he started giving me one word answers and I saw this a signal to make me shut up and I did. (I have a fear of bothering people, because I ramble a lot) This last chat happened like 3 weeks ago. Whenever I go offline in Facebook, he goes offline, as well but this might also be a weird coincidence.What I am asking is that, shall I "push" him to talk to me on facebook, give him some space or forget about it all together? If I give him space, I am afraid that I will not have a chance speaking with him. And how I can understand when he doesn't want to chat?I like an introvent male. I talked with him on facebook and had brief answers. What shall I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2015): You're wasting your time. He won't talk, and you're too shy to talk to him; except by messaging. Send him a message and invite him out for coffee after class. If he declines or does not answer, don't be crushed. Accept it as a "no thank you!"
While in class, take three deep breaths, walk over to him and ask..."how about a chat over coffee after class?" If he declines? Again, don't be crushed. That means he's not interested, and happy being left alone.
Otherwise; leave him alone and stop hovering around him. You'll make him nervous. Looking at you means nothing. Especially when he doesn't have the testicles to man-up and talk to you.
Grown-ups have to show some maturity by working to overcome shyness; if they want to date. It's okay when you're a child, but you have to push yourself to be interactive with people when you're an adult. Otherwise, sit there like a friendless bump on a log; and let wonderful people pass you by.
Just a few words of advice. If someone gives you one or two-word answers; it's because they're boring and can't think of much else to say. It also means they're not particularly interested in you. A lot of overly-shy guys are creepy, and better left alone.
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