A
female
age
41-50,
*ishi 1
writes:Hi there,thanks for reading my post. I am talking with a guy online. met him two times. he is 10years older then me. I am 36 he is 47.I really like him. but I felt he is player.I am interested to know can a player fall in love?Like, a guy who is good looking , successful, and been with many women's in his past and just to have sex. still he meet different women's just to have sex.but, he never been in long term relationship.he told me he is tired for being with many women's. he is serious want to be with one person. he (never push me for sex)what is your thoughts? do I have to continue or am I wasting my time???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2016): A player can always fall in love, regularly, every day in fact , depending on who they are talking to and if that person is sexy and interested in them and might be willing to give them just a little bit.A player falls out of love just as fast for exactly the same reasons.A player always needs a stable women in the home, preferably one who is religious and wont sleep around and particularly a woman who is good with money as a player likes to be well looked after and he expects his children to be well brought up too.But a true player always plays but they thoughtfully tend not to admit it to wifey because there is no point in upsetting her or destroying the harmony of a happy home because he needs a bit of extra on the side.As a consequence wifey learns not to ask questions or pry or check his phone or she might destroy an otherwise happy home.Similarly she will find it difficult to have a conversation that might run on from one day to the next because it interuupts players two sentance communication eg Im going to the club..hand me my grey shirt darling..because a true player is busy thinking and forward planning his next conquest and girlfriend may be waiting in a car around the corner and there is no time for conversation,especially as it might be trick conversation and he may inadvertantly give away something he wished he'd never said.In his defence a player will be good in the sack and generally know how to satisfy his current fling but wifey will become increasingly more of a show piece to be paraded on special occassions.She will not be expected to talk to anyone but him,especially in public as it is disrespectful to all the other attractive women he could be shagging.A player always plays and will always deny it.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (3 February 2016):
Hearing more about your religious background, I'm leaning towards you two not being compatible.
It isn't a judgement towards either of you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 February 2016):
 There are people who've had many partners and then one day decide to settle down. I don't like the fact that he mentioned he met bitches. You've only met two times so I feel it's too early to say negative things about women. If he met a lot of bitches it says a lot about him.
If there's a reason why he wants to be with one person, that could be because he's getting old. Maybe his sexual prowess is not the same as before. Some people just grow older but not wiser you know. If you wait till marriage you won't have the chance to "test drive" the relationship, and to bail out if you don't feel he's the one.
He certainly does not have a religious background so unless he becomes a born again Christian, you two have fundamentally different views. You need more than him just falling in love. He has to be able to sustain that love by giving in effort.
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A
female
reader, mishi 1 +, writes (2 February 2016):
mishi 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks again for reply. I felt he is very honest with me. he never hide if he is with someone for fun. he is charming so it's easy for him to get someone to have fun. I am from religious background. it's very clear to him I am not going to have sex before marriage . but he is still interested to continue with me.I like him too but I am scare since he never been in long term relationship with someone all his life. another thing he complained that mostly he met bitchs in his life. sorry for my language.
I am confuse.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (2 February 2016):
Nobody can make that call but you. Unfortunately we don't have any way of knowing his true intentions. I suppose it is important to define the word player. Is he simply one of those guys who is very handsome and charming and has zero problems finding casual sex partners (like my husband) OR was he the kind of guy who wooed them using deceptive techniques such as pretending he wanted a relationship?
I think that is a really important distinction. If the latter then he is really a dishonest cad - the former, while distasteful to some people, is honest at least,and if he was honest with those women and didn't lead them on then he's probably being honest now as well.
I think it's important to know if at all possible.
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A
female
reader, mishi 1 +, writes (2 February 2016):
mishi 1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all replies. He wants to continue with me. I mean he wants me to meet him more but I am scare of fall in love with him. I told him I am looking for long term relationship.he told me he is looking for same... still I am not sure to meet him more or just move on.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 February 2016):
 "Players" fall in love constantly, repeatedly.....
What YOU have to decide is..... do you want to be one of the myriad women that this guy is going to "fall in love" with,... throughout his career...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (2 February 2016):
Well, from a different perspective, you've just described my husband, though he did have at least one LTR when he was much, much younger.
I'll say that I was skeptical of him for the reasons you've outlined.
I'll also say that after six years together, I can tell you that I love him more every day, and that he's hands down the kindest, most even tempered, fun, caring, considerate partner I've ever had. Speaking strictly for myself, I'm so glad I took that chance.
So yes, it can and does happen. Will it be the same with your guy? Nobody can say. Every human is different.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 February 2016):
 He has spent his whole life not being in a long term relationship, maybe he is scared that he will be left on the shelf now. Either way am not sure I would trust him.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (2 February 2016):
 And if he did fall in love, Would you want him?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016): "what is your thoughts?"
My thoughts is a guy will tell a woman anything he thinks she wants to hear if he thinks it will get him laid.
Which means he's probably told most if not all of the women he previously boinked that he was tired of being with many women, he was serious, he wanted to be with one women and he would never push them for sex.
A guy who is really serious and wants to be with one person doesn't feel the need to say he's serious and wants to be with one person, he conveys that message by the way he treats women and conducts himself.
Don't believe what a guy SAYS, believe what he DOES.
"am I wasting my time???"
See above.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 February 2016):
 Saying that he is serious about being with ONE person, is NOT the same as saying he wants to BE with you. And NOT trying to get you to bed doesn't mean he is serious either. He is after all an EXPERIENCED player so he probably know what works and what doesn't and pushing for sex... rarely works with more grown up woman.
And being serious about wanting to be with ONE person seems to me more about him not wanting to be alone in his "older" days.
And I'd say someone who is in his late 40's and haven't had a long term relationship, only hook ups with LOTS of women are not likely to change.
Are you wasting your time? Impossible for me to say, personally though, I'd skip this one.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016): It doesn't matter if a player can fall in love.
The question remains: Can he stop his playing ways?
The answer?
Highly unlikely.
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