A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:All I want is to be sexually satisfied. I have been married for 36 yrs and have never had sex with anyone else not ever in my life. My husband and I are very close and love one another but, he does not satisfy me in bed. For many years now I feel I have been building a wall between us, a wall that in my head is getting bigger. I know that if we have sex it will not be satisfactory and I am left feeling frustrated. It has always been this way. Oh yes I can orgasm but that is not the problem. The problem is the foreplay, the kissing, the touching etc. you see I feel nothing, I don't get turned on, I don't even feel like I want to be with him at this point. During this phase of foreplay I feel frustration and anger as I want more, I want to feel lust or something. I want to feel like I really want him to f--- me but I don't. Instead I feel he is going about it all wrong. But is he doing it wrong or is it me wanting something that does not exist? Does this feeling I am looking for exist? Is there a feeling of deep want for each other? I don't know. Friends tell me there is and I want to experience it before I get too old. My husband knows I am frustrated but he seems not to know what to do about it so does little except turn over and away from me at times, and I cry.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2012): Are you sexually attracted to him? At any time, in or out of bed?
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 It is not always easy to please a woman. In fact, it usually requires a lot of patience on the part of the man. Most men probably just want to satisfy themselves and get through with it. I do believe that men and women were meant to mate and be with each other, but the physical and emotional design requires some understanding on the part of the man. Maybe a lot more understanding than most men seem to have about women.
Men can have sex and enjoyment within minutes. Women usually require a lot more preparation, as you said, foreplay. With different women, the foreplay that works may vary. It is up to the man, to some degree, to figure that out, though she can help.
It is my opinion that one of the best ways to please a woman is via oral stimulation to her clitoris, but I realize that not everyone enjoys that. Manual stimulation may also work in that case. But the point is, it takes a good bit of "heating up" to get most women ready for sexual activity.
One of the best books I've ever read about female sexuality is "She Comes First" by Dr. Ian Kerner. It can change a man's life, and his relationship with his woman.
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