A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok. i have a strange dilemma with a girl i work with. I have known this girl for about 2 years, and she knows I like her. She knows I like her for her, so it isn't based on a lust. She does have a boyfriend that she has complained that he "doesn't call her pretty or beautiful", and she has tears in her eyes at least 2 times a week because of the way he treats her. I, of course, having a hero complex, feel like I have to come to the rescue. So, every once in a while I say she is pretty or she looks good. Just to build up her self-esteem a bit. Well, just recently, within the past month she has completely blocked me from facebook (i.e. I don't even know she exists). I said something rather wrong to her in joking sexual fashion about a month ago, and asked for forgiveness, but she never replied. In the weeks following we have been O.k. We talk at work about normal stuff like work, school, and some politics (since we agree). She will sit in front of me during lunch and talk (if we eat the same time), and we have even split meals recently. So, I figured everything was going pretty well. But yet, I find out she has me blocked on facebook. I rarely, if ever, contact her through that, and rarely text her as well. So, it seems weird that she would do that, just because I "freaked her out a little" as one of her friends said. I don't know what else I can or should do? I already asked for forgiveness like twice, but no response. I know texting won't help, because she won't reply. And of course, I don't exist in her facebook world. So, the only time I see her will be at work. I hate to say this at my age, but I feel pretty lost in not knowing what to do next...
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (10 August 2011):
 Well it sounds like she might be having abit of a rough time at the moment. I reckon you should go with the bestfriend and just leave it a while before you talk to her about the whole facebook thing.
And if your convos have improved then im sure she still values you as a friend just the joke probably rocked the boat a little bit. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have recently come across information, that has "blocked" or "deleted" the boyfriend as well. I'm not sure why. But I have been in contact with her best friend (who is actually related to the current boyfriend), she has to me that it "freaked her out" when I sent the text about pleasuring the girl I like. Additionally, the best friend said I could talk to her, but would have to wait for a bit as she is upset with some things.
Our conversations have been quite normal, and in fact, IMO they have actually progressed. If I am trying to walk away, she will actually creep up closer to me (this didn't happen before). I haven't seen or talked to her since I found out about this though, so that could change.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (9 August 2011):
Hey, well if her boyfriend is basically abit of an arsehole do you reckon shes blocked you to simplely stop him from asking qeustions or finding out ? The amount of people i have met in my time who are so insecure and paranoid about there gf or bf on facebook is unbelivable. I met one person who said that there bf isnt aloud to have any friends of the opposite sex on his facebook profile simplely because they were so paranoid they would cheat or start dating one of them. Is she at all cold with you at work ? when you talk do you feel abit arkward or maybe just don't get as much as a connection as you did usually. If so it probably means that she may well be pissed off at you for sending the joke or if it was of a sexual nature think your abit weird ( everyones humour is different). Otherwise she could simpley of just got rid of you on facebook because she doesnt talk to you enough. I really think the best way to deal with this is just simplely ask her don't straight away say " have you blocked me ?" maybe be abit more subtle and say " oh yeah, i noticed when i last went on facebook i could'nt view your profile? " See how she reacts there are all kinds of reason why you may not be on her fb profile anymore the only way you will find out for sure is to ask. Best of luck x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): Counseling her and building up her confidence won't make her leave him for you. It will make it easier for her to stay with him since you are providing what he does not.
See how this works? You put in the relationship effort, he gets the adoration and the sex, and all her needs get met.
Everybody's content this way, right?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2011): How can I gauge anything if I don't know what you said to her?
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