A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:am a boy aged 19 and single.when i was 12.my brother took me to his friend.he was a man.when we get there.the man sent my brother to market.while i was in the house waiting for my brother.the man came closer to me and he took my hand into his trouser.he told me to masturbate him.of which i did.that day when i went home.i was puzzled because this was my first time to hear and did this things.i ended up trying.of which i succeeded.from that day am adicted and used tothis until now.however.i have tryid each ane every way to stop this but i ended masturbating.can somebody help me please! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (11 April 2013):
Dear OP,
I agree with so_very_confused and R1.
One problem is this bad memory of the man that introduced you into masturbation in such a terrible and confusing way. No child or teenager should learn about sexuality this way and I am really sorry this happened to you.
Another question is whether you are really addicted to masturbation or whether you want to stop it, because you think it's bad.
Masturbating is an absolutely normal behaviour. Almost everyone I know does it, me too. Sometimes I do it every day, sometimes I don't feel like it.
Our hormones drive us to want sex, so we make babies one day. That's the way we survive as humans. Masturbation prepares the body to have sex. At least I think of it that way.
It's only an addiction if you give up other important parts of your life for it.
I could understand if you find it a bad thing, because you learned it in an abusive way, by an older man that made you do it to him. Maybe if you had been a little older and found out about masturbating yourself, you wouldn't think of it that way.
Are there any people you can talk to about this incident? Do your friends and family talk about sexuality in general? Is there a counsellor that you can talk to?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 April 2013):
 I am sorry you were sexually assaulted at age 12. A critical time in your life. Have you kept this a secret all these years or have you ever talked about it?
you say you are 19 and you are "addicted" to masturbation.
does this mean you stay home to masturbate instead of going out with friends, or going to school and/or work?
or are you just a typical young person who likes the feeling of orgasmic release?
I know over my many years there are days that I masturbated more than two times in any given day.... I never considered myself addicted.
It's only an addiction if you give up other things like going out, being with friends, going to school or work....
if you do it say once a day when you wake up or go to sleep or even to wake up, go to sleep, relax when you first get home, but other than that life is normal, I'm not seeing any problems with it.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (11 April 2013):
 masturbating is perfectly natural and at your age I would expect you to be doing it a lot. The issue is your association between your sexual assault and masturbation. I think this is something that could be worked through in counselling if you have access to it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 April 2013):
 Can you speak to your doctor about this? I think you should talk to a professional to deal with what happened.
If talking to a professional wont help, then talk to someone who you can tell the truth to. Perhaps you have a very good friend, or perhaps you can find a community online where you can meet people with the same life experiences and problems that you have.
Talking helps. Talk about your problem, open up about it. Talk about what happened when you were 12, share it. That is the way to start solving it. If you keep it a secret, it gets worse. Find someone you can confide in. If you can not speak to your doctor, and get help from your doctor, then speak to your best friend and get help from them.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (11 April 2013):
 HI
I am so sorry you had to go through this, how terrble you have suffered this alone. That is an aresstable offence and child abuse. I would talk to the police and seek therapy with a counilor to overcome this . Please don't keep this to yourself any longer. Everytime you masterbate knowing your given past it will further damage your emotional side. You NEED to speak to a professional. And PLEASE tell the police because this man is getting away with this, how many other children has he done this to !! did you ever tell your brother? he could have done this to your brother too and more. you HAVE to tell someone, if not for yourself but for the poor inocent children he has and will do to again.
Mandy x
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