A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for about 5 months now and at the beginning he was very keen for us to have sex. Problem was I was a virgin and I told him this. Anyway the first time we tried to have sex, it hurt and I bled a little. The bleeding carried on for 1 day and I was a little sore. A month later we tried again and it hurt again, so he stopped and I bled a lot.. In fact I bled on an off for the next 3 days. Since then we have not tried to have sex. The other night I brought the subject up with him and he said, if we never had sex it didn't matter. I know why he said this because I have been able to get him off in other ways but this does nothing for me. He then told me the bleeding during our last attempt had put him off sex and it wasn't his fault that my body was letting me down. By the way he is 7 years younger than me so I put this comment down to his immaturity.Since our discussion I have not heard from him.It doesn't make me feel good about the fact that I am effectively in a sexless relationship. What do I do guys? Do I finish it? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for all your helpful advice.
Although right now I'm really upset. Reading your advice is making me think 'why did i ever get with this guy in the first place?'. It's obvious to me that he didn't care about me at all, saying it wasn't his fault my body was letting me down? That single comment has made me realise how selfish he really is. I know if he had a problem, I would do everything I could to help him, not make him feel even more of a freak!
Once again thanks guys, your advice and help is invaluable x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): I don't know him, but there is a chance he might be getting sex elsewhere. Since he said he didn't need it anymore. Its natural for you to bleed, but also if you wait for too long between each time you have sex, you will get "tightened up" again and it will hurt just as much. Waiting a month with trying again is too long, Im sorry. You should try it with just a few days in between if even that. Your vagina basically needs to be stretched out and learn how to accept having a penis there, and you wont ever be comfortable with it unless you do it more often! Its like with everything else: you got to practice in order to be good. By the way, you said you get him off in other ways, why isnt he getting you off? Only a tiny percentage of women on earth get an orgasm from penetration, and those women have had sex for years before they figured out how to get there. This means: your boyfriend needs to learn how to get you off too without thinking he has to penetrate you. And you need to learn what pleases you too, so you can tell him!I could also suggest you buy a vibrator, or a smaller dildo, and start to play with yourself and experience how it is to have something inside you, so that the next time you give it a try it will be better.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. The last sentence made me laugh out loud (for real!) Thanks again, much appreciated x
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): Seeing as how you were a virgin, it is natural that you bled the first time. I am not sure about the second time, but that sounds right to me as well. I know that when a woman is just beginning to have sex, blood and pain is involved. I do not know how much or for how long, but you shouldn't be worried unless it keeps happening. Sex is not like you see in the movies. Its awkward at first. After you do it a few more times, your body will begin to get used to it, and you will start figuring out what works for you. You should research sex and the stresses it puts on the human body. Then you will understand what you are going through (as far as the bleeding)as well as other things you might need or want to know. As for your bf... why are you messing around with boys when you could have a man?
...............................
|
