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female
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*eautyqueen000
writes: my boyfriend in i were having sex and towards the end i asked him to stop because it was uncomfitable and painfull. i have always found penitration uncomfitable and some time painfull he said that he was at the piont of no return when we talked about it afterwards but i think it was rape but he says it is not. it has been painfull before and asked him to stop and get off me and he has is this rape??? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006):
- If you have to ask yourself, then its not rape.
- If you get to have a reflective chat with the 'rapist' about it... then its not rape.
I am sure actual rape victims were pretty clear on what happened to them.
If you arent comfortable with the relationship anymore for whatever reason, break it off.
But dont go playing these "gotcha" headgames with the guy and then expecting the Internet to be your amen chorus. I'd advise the guy to drop you....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2006): Having been in a similar situation i know its not as cut n dry as sonme ppl are making it out be. In my case he pleaded for a few more seconds which i graciously gave despite the pain and did not regret the decision as he was always xtremely considerate after that incident . I think yr bf's reaction to yr plea is key. If he ignored you and kept going at it then whats to stop him from doing it again.
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 I suppose. though I so not know, it is not a legal rape but a very and hard sexual problem you had with your couple and personally he should have stopped and ended by his own means masturbating ir whatever men usually do. Anyway DO NOT FORGET THIS... it was similar to a rape and you mey feel real down please do not forgive this or at least do not forget it it can happen to you again and shows a lot about his personality, it is a rapist excuse 'I couldn't stop, I was too drunk, c'on you started it all, you wanted to have sex... and so on' If you feel raped then it was rape whatever law says about it break up if you wish but make it clear that you expect respect and self control from your couple not to be hurt or mistreated, I definitelly would ask for psychological help and break up with him, he's so mean...
love
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A
male
reader, fallenman  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Rape is a complex legal situation in England and Wales so the definition depends on where you live. In general terms as you were both consenting to intercourse and the initial penetration was with consent, it would be a matter of judgement if the bounderies of sexual intercourse was breached at the stage you mention. If you are in England or Wales take a look at http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/rds/pdfs2/hors237.pdf#search=%22defining%20rape%22
On the issue of the relationship you may want to consider if you want to continue with it as you call him a rapist and he carries on regardless?
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A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Hon, this is hard to answer. The law says, no matter when it is, if you say stop he's supposed to stop. Now, he was probably very frustrated from all the other times it happened, but the law is the law. It's rape if what happened was what you said happened. Where you go from here is something that maybe you should discuss with someone you love and trust like a member of your family or you can call a rape counsiling hotline. There should be one in your local phone book. Good luck and God bless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): anythime you tell someone to stop,and they dont it is rape.
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