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male
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anonymous
writes: 6 monthes ago my wife had a mobile phone which i didnt know of, when i found it ,it was full of dirty texts she had sent to 2 guys. one of the guys was her friends hubby, her friend was also in on the dirty texts. now i have found she has another mobile, but it is security locked and she refuses to let me c what the texts contain, i can only assume this is because she has something to hide,, am i right in asking to c the texts, and that she takes the security lock off the phone,if she has nothing to hide why bother with a lock on mobile,, there is a lot more to this story but i have giving the basic details
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female
reader, crash2511  +, writes (18 July 2008):
Dirty texts are all about what were thinking, what we wish would happen and pleasreing other people. I think you should let your wife know about your concerns but if you demand her to take the locks of her phone she will rebell and it will create more trouble. You should try getting a mobile phone and simply get her to send you dirty messages this way youll get something from it and she will adventually get bored with writting loads of sex scenes !!! hope i have helped.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): U is right for asking her to unlock her phone because if she is ur wife she should'nt have nuthing to hide anyway... She cheating on ur a**. U should get revenge and get a phone and lock it and see her reaction and let her be in that kind of situation. U should also see what the dudes have to say
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008): well mate, I think that she has just as much right as you but you should really coz you have a commitment because she's your wife but it's her privacy as well so I think you should respect her and trust her really.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): All phones can be unlocked via the internet... Just type in the make and model of your wife's mobile. Look up all the different sites to help you unlock it. Then wella... you wont need to beg or threaten or her, god bless the internet!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): i think you are right about if she has nothing to hide then why is there a lock on her fone. my boyfriend had a lock on his messages so i couldn't get into it to read them, so i told him if he had nothing to hide then show me or if he was hiding something from me it was over so he showed me and there was no dirty txt on it. i think you should trust ur girlfriend/wife but if she is hiding something blackmale her and see what she says then.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): Well in my opinion, I think a man should NEVER ask a woman to read their messages as to a woman it feels upsetting becasue it's like you are going through her diary. Ihave had alot of experience and they always say that !!! Hope this helps Dave
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): i completly understand how your feeling. im only 17 and recently found that my boyfriend had texts on his phone from 2 other girls asking him to "forget what happend the other night, i dont wanna loose you as a friend" im paranoid as it is, so i only look at that one way!! I think you should tell her to show you the text, if she refuses, you know shes up to something, hey maybe two can play that game, maybe lock your phone.. see how she reacts. i know thats not the best way to deal with the situation. but thats what i would do. i told my boyfriend to tell me EXACTLY whats going on or its over. maybe you should do the same.. good luck!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): Well if she wants to hide things from you she will even if u ask her to take the lock off the phone, so the best thing I can say is either trust her and drop it, and if u know in your heart u can't trust her then you2 have alot to talk about! Maybe u should get a cell and lock it and let her sit around wondering why!!!
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male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 I believe in marraige. I also believe that two keys to a successful one are truth and communication. She is not telling you the truth of which you have a right to know. And obviously she never told you she was going to do this or was doing it in the first place.
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female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Um...that means she's not only texting...but Sleeping with them both. simple answer...if she was NOT sleeping with them...She would have used her Own phone and not gotten a Special one just for them. Oh and best friends husbands are off limits to some people....But DO NOT assume they are off limits to everyone. Now by refusing to show you...and locking you out....She is simply saying...You have no business in My life....I don't want you to see them because if you are so stupid that you will buy my crap after this...I will keep doing it.
Now...I am speaking tough to you...You know what is going on...and your heart adores her so much that it is trying to catch up...but just won't make the leap. That is normal and NO YOU ARE NOT STUPID....but love makes you do stupid stuff. Like convince yourself there is a reasonable explanation for her behavior...Sure she's getting together with all these people to do something really wild and nice for you...and if you push...you will ruin that big surprise party. You caught her once...so she does the same thing...but now lOCKS it? Buddy...I am soo sorry but She is a cheater at the very least. Separate phone....locked keypad....Drug dealers need stuff like that....who knows.
Steal the phone...give her an ultimatum....phone code or The Road.....if she refuses....Smash it with a hammer and pack it with her other belongings and remove her from your life if you want someone who is faithful.
Other option....love her anyway and tell her if she wants an open relation ship.....you are fair game to try it.
Hey...wanna know how I know what she's up to? My two boyfriends and husband all get along now...but that has not always been the case...And my husband always has a new phone when he has a girlfriend he knows I will hate(one who he's gonna leave me for at any second...haha)...It took us a very LONG time to get the details worked out where we both were 100% committed to each other and still able to be who we just are... Some people will never be faithful...I happened to be one of them....so is my husband...we were lucky...it was meant to be. But, Don't think for a second that just because YOU would never do anything like that....that she has the same boundaries. Yes she can love you with all her heart and still cheat, lie and be a monster to you. Just like men do to women.
It is totally up to you whether or not recreational sex is a deal breaker for you. For me Drug abuse of any kind or being hit even one time would be an automatic Deal OVER...yet I have friends who have spent years in a relationship encompassing several hospital trips due to domestic violence ...yet they shake their head and look down on me saying I don't understand Love.....
You must decide what YOU want before you confront this. Don't be against Following her. Rent a car and take a week of vacation....shadow her every move. No you are not being a horrible untrusting person...You are gathering information so that you can make an informed decision. You must understand exactly what you will be required to accept...or why you have no hope of a relationship with this woman.
Then....once you know for sure exactly what you want...sit her down and simply tell her what you know...whether you can accept it or not...and what you want. Don't argue or give her a chance to create a big you must prove what I have done scene... her first response will be "I DID NOT"....be quiet...listen...then simply continue with what you have to say. That is why you must have exact facts and must be sneaky to gather them. But once there is no doubt...you can look at the situation calmly...not wondering if she's going to lie. at that point she may leave you...be prepared for that. She may boo-hoo and beg you to forgive her...be prepared not to waver. She may simply not give a darned...in which case you should not care either.
You are not the only person in the world this has happened to...there is nothing wrong with YOU that would make this happen...the flaw or problem is hers and she probably knew of it before you were married and should have warned you...but that usually does not happen unfortunately. just remember...though you feel out of control right now....you are not. Rather than bemoan the whys of it...you can decide to accept it and deal with it. What ever you decide...I wish you the best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): To me it sounds like she has something to hide - why else would she feel the need to have 2 extra mobiles including one with a security lock if she didn't have anything to hide? Well if she won't tell you or even talk to you about suppose 2 could play at that game - you could get another fone even if you never used just to see how she would react! Even if you are just sending texts to yourself & been all secretive and possessive with the fone? A bit petty I know but... You never know it might just work
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female
reader, camille +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Yes you're right to ask and quite frankly you deserve better than her refusal. She's your wife and she is keeping secrets and lying. Having a locked phone is bad enough, having 2 phones you didn't know about is worse, but having phones with dirty texts to her friend and her husband is just unacceptable. It looks as if they are playing games behind your back. Very dangerous ones. It may all be consensual, but with you being kept in the dark, she is cheating, whatever's going on. If you're wife isn't willing to tell you what's going on, perhaps you should pay these so called friends a visit? If you don't get the answers, you're being direspected and for me, that'd be time to end the relationship.
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (28 September 2006):
 I think the software by MobileAction can display texts from the phone on to a PC so long as the phone is switched on. I think thats the one, I'm about 80% certain of that.
Obviously you would feel uncomfortable with this considering her past. If you cant get the software and cable, you could always sneak the phone out somehow. I know some people think that being sneaky shows you dont trust your wife but you got a hell of a reason to pal! You might wanna figure out what you're going to do if its the same problem as before first though
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): To me it sounds like she has something to hide - why else would she feel the need to have 2 extra mobiles including one with a security lock if she didn't have anything to hide? Well if she won't tell you or even talk to you about suppose 2 could play at that game - you could get another fone even if you never used just to see how she would react! Even if you are just sendig texts to yourself & been all secretive and possessive with the fone? A bit petty I know but...
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Well for someone to feel the need to security lock their phone when they have never done before would tell me something is wrong here.
I would talk to her regarding this as you have a right to know what is going on.
Good luck :o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): I think she has nothing to hide. the purpose of hiding might due to your wrong thinking. I myself also agree with my male friends to allow them to send me dirty jokes messages. I think it is fine and sometime it is funny. Try to be open & she will eventurally let u see the sms
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (28 September 2006):
 You're right. She does have something to hide. You need to investigate further because something is going on thats definitely not kosher.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): I think considering the past she shouldnt again have a hidden mobile phone, this straight away raises alarm bells. Your married, you have a commitment to each other to be honest and to respect each other. From what you say she doesnt seem to be honoring her commitment to you, she is obviously hiding it from you because whatever is on it is wrong. I would sit her down and give her a serious ultimatum, get to the bottom of why she is doing this and whether it will stop.
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