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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 21 and have been seeing my boyfriend, 23, for 3 months. I'm a virgin, he's not and he has been wonderful in not pressuring me to do anything i'm uncomfortable with. We've been getting pretty close lately and he fingered me for the first time. He knows that i have no experience and we've talked about how i don't really know what to do, but i would like to make him feel as good as he does me, maybe a hand job? I really don't know what to do when I'm with him and this makes me so anxious and nervous. I don't want him to feel like he does all the work and i'm doing nothing to him. Do you have any tips on what i could do, simple small things even, so i can work up to being more comfortable physically with him?
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (5 June 2006):
 He sounds understanding so maybe get him to show you? Teach you? If you want to masturbate him, maybe ask if he could put his hand over yours the first time to guide what speed he likes etc. Grip hard, but not like a vice. Not all men are the same so ask how HE likes it. Some men like fast and hard, some slow, (I don't know any who like it to be held limply though so don't be afraid to have a firm grip!) I wouldn't give him head just yet as again it's something to do when you feel comfortable too and harder for him to tell you how he likes it. Licking would be a good start especially flicking your tongue over the tip whilst holding. I'm sure he'll just be so happy you're doing it that you can take your time and build up to more adventurous things, but do what feels right and listen/respond to his moans and groans.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006): First of all one thing I have learnt about men and sex is that most of them REALLY enjoy seeing the girl get off. So don't think he isn't enjoying what he's doing to you because he will be loving it and if you try to relax and really enjoy it he will love it even more! Secondly a hand job is honestly one of the hardest things for a girl to master, guys do it to themselves all the time and they are very very good at it, often girls don't do quite as well. I mean I'm not trying to say he won't enjoy it because he will but my suggestion is giving him a head job. I know it sounds kinda scary (I'm not sure if you've ever done it before) but I personally really enjoy it now and guys love it. Start by kissing him really passionately then kiss his neck, nibble on his ear lobe, lick his nipple and move you way down (sorry not trying to sound like a dirty novel) then hold his penis with one hand at the base and start to lick it, take it in your mouth and make sure to massage with your tounge, having your hand at the base will give you control of how much you take in just keep doing that increasing the amount of time you take it in your mouth, massage with your tounge and suck. He will surely love it! But don't worry I'm sure he enjoys every bit of intimacy he gets with you!
Hope this helps and good luck!
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