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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Im 21 hes 22. We have a great relationship with each other but we havent had sex in the past 7 months. We had a great sex life up until January when he just stopped cold turkey. He was always initiating sex and always showed an interest. We didnt even have sex on our 1 yr anniversary. I know he's not cheating cause I confronted him about it and he's always with me practically. He does have some family problems that hes been living with for years and I put that into consideration. But what confuses me the most is that he shows an interest in playing with my chest constantly but when I try to push it further he stops everything and acts "normal" so to speak, then if I tell him not to touch me he gets annoyed. When I asked him why he stopped showing interest he said it was nothing and that I had nothing to do with it. I just asked him recently cause I gave it time to see if things would change and it hasn't and when I confronted him again, its like he shut himself off. He knows he can talk to me about anything but he choses to turn himself off. I'm hurting emotionally and I'm starting to think that I'm undesirable to him. I dont know what to do anymore and I'm remaining faithful to him but im at a dead end. please help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): Just wondered how you have been getting along with your partner. I'm going through exactly same symtoms. We are a bit older though.
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (13 July 2005):
 It could be that he as an erectile disfunction problem for some reason and that hes now embarrased. A lot of men at some time in their lives cant substain an erection and that in itself can affect how they behave. Maybe try chatting to him again... try initiateing sex in a nice light manner and see what happens.. if you still get no where ask him gently if he is okay... if he feels unwell, or does feel too stressed then this will also affect his sex drive... make him realise that you love him by showing lots of affection even if it doesnt lead to sex, let him know you care, fancy him and love him and that you really want to help as you know that things are wrong... tell him that he does need to open up to you as its now hurting you as to why this part of the relationship has stopped... he may not realise the extent... let him know you will support him and want to help, be kind considerate and hopefully you can get to the bottom of this without to much more trouble.
Hope this helps
Take care x
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2005): I don't think it is you. If he was having sexual relations with you in the beginning months of your relationship and then suddenly stopped...it really sounds like he is suffering from some type of anxiety, unrelated to you or his relationship with you. It could do with his past family problems. If he's shutting down and not talking..then, perhaps he feels embarrassed about telling you something. Take this slow and step by step. I would be supportive and have him visit a medical doctor to make sure he's physically healthy. Afterwards, suggest he get some psychological support from a professional. I just get the feeling from your note, and the way you have worded it that he trying to deal with something traumatic, from his past. I could be wrong..but it's worth a shot. I wish you
both luck. Take Care, dear.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (13 July 2005):
You sound like you have tried to talk to him about it and he won't communicate with you.Make him listen to you. Tell him you are unhappy with the way things are and unless he changes, or tells you what's wrong you're considering ending the relationship.Sounds like he does have a problem he either can't or won't tell you about.
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reader, pops +, writes (13 July 2005):
If he is not going to talk to you, perhaps he will talk to a professional counselor. Ask him. If he will not do that, you are in a real problem. You can stay and let things go on as is, and be miserable, or you can leave him, and get on with your life, assured that there are other men out their who will be proud to shower you with affection, respect, and love. pops
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