A
male
age
51-59,
*wesiras
writes:Been married for 11 years. hardly have sex with my wife because she is hardly ever in the mood or want me to have sex with her. Have to content with secret masturbation many many times. Have never had sex with another person except my wife since marriage.We have not had sex in the last 3 years due to strained relations. Been trying to seek reconciliation with getting her cooperation. It is alright I get myself a lady partner who is also sex-starved for regular mutual gratification?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): If she refuses to have sex with you even after talking about it or getting professional advice then you are under no moral obligation to remain faithful to her. Sex is a fundamental part of us and to deny yourself a normal sex life because your wife refuses to have sex with you is not healthy. Go find someone else.good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): No, of course that isn't alright, it's cheating.Have you not spoke to your wife about this properly? You really should tell her how you feel. Perhaps the pair of you could seek counselling? She may even have issues you don't even know about, I mean 3 years is a long time.In my advice, you simple have two choices what to do here, either don't give up on your wife, or get a divorce.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): If you dont mind ur wife sleeping with other guys, yeah sure go for it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): I have been in this situation before and there is no need to cheat. the problem with talking with her is that she might have the attitude if I am getting away with it why should I try. you have been good to her and it is her duty as a wife to give you are explanation and try to work things out.give her a time line to go to counseling and if she disagrees ask her to leave.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): i think you should talk to her about it first, that would be the fair thing to do. if she has no interest in sex anymore, she might give you permission to have a lady on the side (hey, it happens) but i dont think you should keep secrets from your wife, keeping secrets from your wife is 10x's worse then your wife keeping sex from you
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (9 April 2011):
 You'll have a tough time getting folks here to condone cheating on your wife.
You're doing the right thing by working on reconciliation. You have to make it clear to her that, from your perspective, the marriage cannot work without sex. That's a perfectly reasonable position to take.
If for whatever reason she tells you she's not going to accommodate you, then your decision is to stay without sex, or leave the marriage.
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