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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 1/2 yrs. We have been living together for 6months. Before we moved in together we would have sex all the time in the last 4 months it has slowly diminished to basically once a month if i am lucky. What do you think is going on? when i ask him about it he says he is "too tired" or "we will later". please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2005): i am in the same situation as you. my girlfriend and i only have sex once or twice a month. it is mostly because of her. she doesn't want to or she is too tired. i hate hearing those excuses. i have attempted to talk to her about it, but it doesn't seem to have gotten us anywhere. have you tried to talk to him about it. however, i think more guys are sensitive to this subject. as i stress to my girlfriend, i know sex isn't the most important thing in a relationshi, but it is a part of one. a relationship needs sex to continue in strength, and that is what i am searching to find again. good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2005): Men will never tell you what is going on unless it is absolutely necessary.Maybe if you suggest living in separate places (meaning it, not just a threat), would give him the courage to speak up and tell you what is wrong.Of course before doing that you can try and take the initiative a few times yourself, but if that doesn't work, try something a bit more radical. Just don't start up thinking that this is your fault or you are the one lacking something. It is sad to accept but living together is not always a good option for some couples. Sometimes partners get scared and feel uncomfortable about the fact that there is not more "freedom" anymore. Just try and solve your problem as soon as you can, as this can go on and on forever, creating just frustration and resentment.
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A reader, Wise Worm, writes (7 January 2005): Take control!!!Play a little games...dress up seductively and tease him, don't wait for him to initiate it. If he tells you to stop, there mightbe something wrong, embarresment of not being able to preform. More importantly, talk about it, tell him your needs and have an open discussion - not argument, its a sensitive subject.
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