A
male
age
30-35,
*h1p01
writes:Hi all again. So me and my gal have been going together over a year now and she has gotten much more comfortable with me fooling around with her. She still is really shy when it comes to reciprocating. I have two questions, one that pertains to her and one that pertains to me. First is that she recently just felt comfortable with me trying to finger her, her being virgin and all and never having another bf that was active with her or ever using a tampon or even experimenting with herself was very very tight and actually took me three weeks of slowly trying to get one finger in. But it felt like something was different inside her. it felt like I had to go straight down and inch and a half and then make a sharp 90 degree angle inward to get in...this felt different than previous women I have been in. Do you think she still has a partial hymen that is blocking full entrance into her or just really tight? How do me and her go about making it more comfortable for her and more of a natural path in if at all possible?Second is that she can't get me off, I never get off with herand rarely ever did with previous partner. it frustrates me and upsets her. I get excited and hard easily but just last forever, I can get myself off easily, but try to refrain as long as I can but sometimes stuff just backs up down there if I get excited too many times without going. She is still new to fooling around with me and is not comfortable with going down on me, but that hasn't gotten me off before so I don't think it if would help at all, so she doesn't know what to do. Any help with these two issues would be much obliged. thanks!!
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (18 September 2012):
Whatever you do, don't pressure her or rush her to do things that she's not ready - both mentally and emotionally - for. It sounds like she's just not yet comfortable with the whole idea of sexual pleasure. Back off a little with the deep fingering - most women's preferred masturbation pattern does NOT include much in the way of penetration. If you can get her to cooperate (and DO NOT force her if she's not totally willing) have her grab your hand in hers, and place or move your hand in ways that are pleasurable to her. At this point in your relationship she may be quite content with just body contact, fondling, and gentle caresses.
I have never had much response to a girl going down on me. I know what you mean by the feeling of needing some kind of release. Before my wife and I were married our lovemaking worked up to "everything but intercourse". When it got to that point, sometimes I would bring myself to climax while she gently held (and caressed) my balls. More often, I would hump against her hip or thigh. It was actually very satisfying to her just to hold me during my orgasm, knowing that she had contributed to my pleasure.
And in the long run - that hasn't hurt our married sex life, which has been going for over 35 years.
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (17 September 2012):
Hey OP, far too much analysis and stress by the sounds of things. Firstly your gf, I am sure her vagina is totally normal she is not relaxed hence the "shape" you perceive, which is very unlikely anything to do with her hymen. Has she enjoyed an orgasm? Its unlikely she will from your finger pushed in her, even going down on her if she isnt ready will just make her feel uncomfortable. I suggest very slow and gentle attention to her clitoris, even through her panties, and if you manage to get her really wet and excited carefully venture inside. Remember to note her monthly cycle, she will be much more horney about midway between periods and thats a good time to turn her on. If she is on the pill you may have a real challenge. As for you, just be patient, dont stress her, when she is feeling good so will you. You have years and years to enjoy you sexuality, dont mess it up by rushing.
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