A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: soo i lost my virginity about 8 months ago. it didnt hurt too much but i didnt feel any kind of pleasure at all. not from any kind of sex we had. and i had sex with the same guy about 20 times after that until we broke up and didnt feel any sort of pleasure, jus pain. then i slept with another guy but only once, no strings, just sex. that time hurt a little more than even when i lost my virginity! about 2 months after that i got with my boyfriend now and we have been together for 3 months. we have sex almost everyday, usually more than once a day. and still..all i feel is pain. its tolerable but still not pleasureable. he isnt rough or anything and not even amazingly "well endowed" but all it is is pain! im so turned on and rlly w*t every time we have any kind of sex but i just cant get any pleasure from it. its killingg me! i feel like i am always going to be associating sex with pain! am i doing something wrong??? please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): Something is wrong here yes. I cant tell you exactly why. But I will suggest that until you know more: dont let him penetrate you. You shouldnt have to be going through pain just so he can get pleased. Tell him it hurts. And then stop and give your vagina a break.
It can hurt for a multiple reasons. You might have a tight vagina (and the only thing that helps is lube and a smaller penis) Find out with experimenting. Try with your fingers and see how much you can take before it hurts.
Your vagina might be sore and if you have sex every day it wont get time to heal, and wounds will open up again. Are you bleeding during sex? Giving it some time (maybe a month or two) with no penetration can help.
You are young. Maybe your body isnt fully matured yet. And your partner might be too young to know what he's doing either, which is not helping your case.
Anyway: let him know! Dont just lay there and feel pain! If its not enjoyable then stop. You can do plenty of other things instead of penetration.
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