| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Ok, so I broke up with my bf 4 weeks ago after an on/off relationship of about a year. We were then sex buddies and friends, until Tuesday when he got a new girlfriend. But then the day after that he rang me saying he was lonely, came over and had sex. He also told his friend (who he knows liked me even when we were going out) that I had a new bf so that he wouldn't try anything with me. He's showing so many signs that he still wants me, but he hasn't tried to get back with me again. What's going on?
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 I am sorry to say this but your ex is a jerk, he is using you and you are falling into the web of deceit, manipulation and lies. He wants sex with you, he wants no one else to have you, yet he has a new girl? Errm, well he sounds like a loser, who needs to be told where he can stick his games, dont you think you deserve better? Course you do. Take care. xXx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006): Hun, it was disheartening to read your posting. You seem to have fallen into that painful rut where so many women find themselves. A no strings attached sex buddy relationship, where the female is still emotionally attached. As well, you are equating being wanted by your bf, (regardless of his scummy character) with your self-esteem. This is why you are where you are. I am here to tell you that you no longer need him to validate who you are. You validate yourself by through achievment in your own life, your own good actions. You gift yourself with that a self-respect/ self-esteem, without this man doing it for you.
What's going on is he doesn't love you. Or he wouldn't be doing what he is doing to you. All you have here is a 'sexual attraction'. You and he have agreed to have a sexual relationship where he has emotionally disconnected from you. But you appear to be at a different place here. Sexual passion, low self-esteem and a needy, desperate attachment lead people like yourself, to believing they are in love. Now you know your denial of all this, is where your weakness lies. I am always impressed with people when they openly admit their weakness because that means they now know where they have to begin working on themselves to build courage and strength. And you dear, need the strength to tell this guy who doesn't love you, to take a hike. You will then need to grieve, mourn and heal. This will take time. So stop having sex with him and value yourself enough to....walk away. Good luck, dear.
...............................
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 oooops he's a bit cranky darling he desserves ultimatum u or the nw girl or just throw him to the gutter
love
...............................
|
