A
female
age
26-29,
*eanthia
writes:Ok, yep back again, yeah more problems... i was really hoping the last time i came here would, you know, be the last time. It's really a continuation of the same situation but much worse now... I really need advice, I'm getting it from lots of friends but they're all saying different things, and how do you know who to listen to? I figured it might be time for advice from someone removed from the situation. Ok here goes...This is gonna sound familiar if you've helped me before.Warning: Long Long story! My best friend (temporarily being dubbed Lil) and I fell for the same guy. Bad beginning right? Well I fell for him about a month before she did, went to a dance with him. Then exactly 5 minutes after he asked me to another dance (I said yes) Lil comes up to me and says she likes him too. What to do? Following previous advice I went with the guy anyway for several reasons, one being the fact Lil wasn't acting like much of a friend, and flipping out over the simplest things. Lil showed up at the dance and freaked out when she saw us dancing, when the song ended I ran to find her and she started cussing me out I got so angry I could've hit her but I was so angry I started crying I didn't want the guy to see that so I ran to the bathroom. Several of my friends came after me saying it was stupid and Lil was being a (insert swear word of choice). I went back out danced with my friends and the guy. Things should be good right? Wrong. Come Monday Lil refused to acknowledge m presence and Shina (dubbed name 4 other best friend) said she wanted an apology, figuring Lil's flighty ways and the fact that every week she had a new crush I apologized. No luck. I apologized several times asking her was 7 years of friendship really worth tossing to the wind for a guy? I was hoping she'd just accept me and the guy because with the way she had been acting. No luck. Then I get a note from her saying "I'm not saying I'll never forgive you, but what you did got me thinking. We just grew apart. You're just to smart to be my best friend. I'm sorry" I think you'll join me in saying that was a load of bull! Then she started acting like nothing happened and things were semi-fine between us, though regrettably i told the guy i wasn't ready for a relationship. Then Valentine's day rolled around. Our school sells carnations and delivers them to your special someone for you. I bought one for all my friends including Lil, and one for the guy. As Lil is part of the committee that sells them she found out, and got mad because while we both bought him one he bought one for me. Then a couple days later she says she has a boyfriend and gets all happy on top off that she's cooing at this guy two tables down in the lunch room and a few days ago she wrote 3 sets of initials on her hand, one was the guy's she talks about her daydreams constantly and glares at me whenever she mentions the guy. Whenever she's not talking about the guy she goes back to her normal hyper self. One of my friends asked her why she wouldn't let me date the guy she said, "I'll let her date him, I just won't be her friend anymore" It seems to me our friendship is over and nothing I do is going to save it, I love Lil like a sister but I doubt she thinks of me as a friend anymore.Our Valentine's dance got delayed cuz we got a ton of snow, it's now on St. Patrick's Day which sucks to begin with. I sent the guy a note asking him to meet me there, Shina read it and delivered it, was that a mistake? She basically told me "I know you two like each other but I can't have him so you can't either" I'm really frustrated with the whole thing I just wish the whole mess had never started but am I making the right decision by refusing her, and how can I explain this to our other friends, the four of us were as tight as blood, what do I do? Please help me. Shina says I should choose but she's leaning towards me accepting Lil. Another friend said she'd talk to Lil but then she lost her voice. The other friend said just date the guy. I didn't know where else to turn I could really use some help.
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