A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are making plans to get married. i have known him and his family my whole life, i love him and so do my parents wich is a big plus. But for a couple of days now i have been feeling really strange.I'm having doubts and i feel like if i get married now im going to miss out on so many things, like this is it, i cant go study overseas i cant move to new york like ive always wanted to i wont be abe to find out if theres something else out there for me, if theres some oppertunity just waiting for me to go and catch it,... just so many things out the window, dreams aspirations all of it and im so scared of getting married and hating myself for not taking the chance.Should i risk losing someone i love and later finding out i should have stayed all along... or should I just go? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): Marriage is between two complete adults. You feel incomplete, you haven't accomplished your goals, so what does that tell you?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): im going to tell you the same thing i told my bf (who did not listen)...
if he loves you so much, he will wait.
College, living life to the fullest, tasting the sweet things that you are now just old enough to have is something you can NEVER get back.. but only dream about.
so right now you my dear are on a cliff.. dreaming about whats coming... and what you might do, who you could meet etc...
let me put it to you this way,
would you reather look back and say i did or,
feel like you do now and wish you did and dream about i should have?
you love him, thats fine and great... you can still marry him... just not right now!...
I implor you, don't make this mistake! WAIT!... listen to what your writing on your own
" if i get married now im going to miss out on so many things, like this is it, i cant go study overseas i cant move to new york like ive always wanted to i wont be abe to find out if theres something else out there for me, if theres some oppertunity just waiting for me to go and catch it,... just so many things out the window, dreams aspirations all of it and im so scared of getting married and hating myself for not taking the chance."
your feeling this way because its true... I know its hard but believe in your self and have courage. The same courage you will need when your in ny or overseas!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): If it is true that you are 18-21 years old, you are still very young, even at 21, to force yourself to get married. You have your whole life ahead of you, as does your boyfriend. If there is any time in your life to go out and explore the world, now is the time. Once you get married you will either feel you made a mistake and regret it for the rest of your life, or you will decide that you should not have gotten married and actually end it. However, there is of course a very good chance that you will live happily ever after as well. Regardless, it doesn't mean you need to get married right away. Just make it a long engagement, tell him you want a little time for yourself, or perhaps he would like to join you on this journey. I am presently 23 years old and have been away from my girlfriend of five years for most of our relationship, several hundred miles apart. I value my education, so that is what I have been doing and that is what I will be continuing to do for the next two and a half years. I am happy that I have done this, but I will say that I am looking forward to the end of school so I can be with her. Good luck making your decision. Just remember, it doesn't have to be one or the other.
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