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female
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anonymous
writes: I am very self concious about my vons veneris, it's the fatty tissue that covers the pubic bone, above the labia and below the abdomen... mine is very large and it makes me to nervous that i won't let my boyfriend touch me. When i look in a mirror at myself sideways it feels and looks like i have a penis bulge. How can i get rid of it, or at least reduce the size so i can not self concious about it. It's ruining my relationship because my boyfriend thinks i hate him... if only he knew, please help!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 May 2006):
 Think about it this way: you can see it, your boyfriend probably can too. And you know what? He doesn't care!
Men aren't as fixated on physical perfection as women are. In fact, I'd lay serious money down that you could hang a sign there on your mons, saying "I hate this fat bulge" and he wouldn't even know what you were talking about! Your boyfriend is thinking about what it *feels* like, not what it *looks* like, silly.
So, hon, RELAX. Your body is fine, just the way it is. You're hyperventilating over nothing. If you feel comfortable with the idea of letting your boyfriend touch you intimately, but it's just that YOU think it's unattractive, then why not let him do what he wants to and take it from there? Do you seriously think he might touch you there and then jerk his hand away like he's touched a rattlesnake? Oh, please! He won't.
You could also talk to him about it, so he doesn't misunderstand. Wouldn't it put your mind at ease if he were to tell you, "I guess so, but it doesn't bother me"? So, give him the chance. Tell him that the only reason you don't want him to touch you is that you feel like it doesn't look right... and when you put it in those terms, doesn't your complaint sound a bit obsessive?
Don't worry. Relax. Guys don't care! Really, they don't!
A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (22 May 2006):
 dear reader. please don't worry about this i have the same problem but mine is due to having kids and putting on loads of weight the only thing i can suggest is exercise but it is very hard to get rid of other then having a painfull op. its a part of you and as you may know everyone if different please don't let this ruin your relationship if he love's and respects you he won't find this a problem i know your concern about how he will react but i think you should talk to him about it first let him know how it makes you feel and don't forget to say that your scared of his reaction.
You make him feel good yes?? well this should really be something you will laugh about in time. there's nothing wrong with you belive me don't be scared of your body.
I hope things go well for you.
Good luck xxx
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