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female
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*urt and sad
writes: My husband is stable and calm, but totally into his routine. Today, as there were several important issues going on with me and the kids (his step-kids), I asked him to cancel his weekly volleyball outing to help support me. I know he loves volleyball and looks forward to it each week. He offered a compromise of coming home early. But I felt, that since I rarely ask for him to skip this, he should have cancelled to be there for me.What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (1 February 2006):
 This is difficult as one of the things you obvously like about him is his stability and that he is predictable, so asking him to change his routine when you know that is how he is, may cause him stress, you did not ask a lot on the face of it, but he had looked forward to the game and does it only once a week and he did compromise and offer to come home early so in his mind he was still keeping mostly to his routine but offering you support as well.
Personally I would have been cross at him not cancelling his game but had he of done so I would then have felt guilty at him missing something he enjoys.
So like I said this is difficult!!
Talk this through with him, tell him you feel he did not support you and the kids, work out what you expect from each other if this is to happen again and im sure something similar will crop up again, so if you know what is expected from each other you will be better able to work together.
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