A
female
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anonymous
writes:I am a single heterosexual cis female. I've recently started spending a lot of social time with a 24yr old transitioning man (ftm), and have suprised myself by developing a crush.He and I aren't super close, and to be honest if nothing else the age difference would be more than enough to deter me if he were cis male. The thing is that I really enjoy his company and feel myself sparkle a little whenever he is around. And because he is trans the gender ideals that I thought I valued (older, secure, protective men) seem less meaningful.I can't even begin to wrap my head around what he is going through, emotionally, socially and physically, and to be honest I think it is probably none of my business. He has said that his lower body is numb (the implication being that it is part of the transition), and I don't even know what that means.I dont know his sexual orientation, he treats all men and women like his siblings (body contact is open, hugs for all, teasing for men and women alike, though seems to be more respectful of women's personal boundaries in general). I'd just like to be there for him platonically right now. He is a very special individual and I want to stay in his orbit if I can. He has enough on his plate without worrying about an older woman with a silly crush.So, dear cupids, what I'd like to know is; does anyone have any recommendations for me? I dont have a specific question, just seeking general advice. If you're trans is there anything that you'd wish people knew before getting close?PS. Please dont assume that because I'm in my 30s I should be too mature for these questions, I've been living under a sans-romance-rock for years because I was morbidly overweight (whereas now I'm just a bit chubby)
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (5 August 2020):
 Firstly, your age and inexperience do not matter a bit when you find yourself in unfamiliar waters. Congrats on your weight loss btw, go you 3
Your friends' gender and your sexual preferences and usual age preferences do not matter either, the heart wants what it wants as far as I'm concerned so I'm going to answer you as I would anyone with a crush.
Get to know him more, spend more time with him, ask him those questions you want to know about what he's going through emotionally, socially and physically, only he knows the answers and he might be really touched, happy and relieved that you've cared enough to ask. Tell him you're not prying but are genuinely interested and care.
The best relationships are built on friendship so work on your friendship and see what happens.
You never know he might just feel the same way about you.
If your dreams come true and the sparks start to fly, then you'll be learning together, keep talking, asking questions and experimenting, everyone's experiences in the bedroom department are different, no two partners are the same, it's a learning thing.
In regards to the age difference, it's not that big, honestly and it doesn't matter anyway, who we are is more important than how old we are and if two people click, then they click.
I wish you all the best and hope this helps a little bit.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOP is 31yrs
(Sorry, thought it would include my age at the top.)
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