A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:We parted on my part bad terms(I felted he was dishonest to me and I think he couldn`t handle his feelings for me)I seen him for the first time in 5 months should I just leave will enough alone? I really liked him. I don`t think he will every get in touch with for the way it ended I think he is afraid to contact me that I might still be bad and hurt. I know I should just let it all go put seeing him again just brought back all of my feelings for him. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): I understand how you feel, I too went through a break up instigated by me for the same reasons actually, dishonesty and feeling like he didn't love me as much as I loved him, lack of maturity on his part and other issues with him.
I have a lot of deep feelings for him, I dated him for two years, lived with him for months and thought of him as my best friend, we were glued at the hip most of the time.
But if he betrayed you in some way by being dishonesty, does he really deserve a second chance? That is who he is, a liar, and you can't live like that without being able to trust the one you love, I know I couldn't, it was making me physically ill. And even now after several months he contacts me on occassion and every time I let him in a little or even more than a little he does something rude or hurtful, he wants to punish me....and I can't fix anything between us, nor do I want to.
I gave the relationship my best shot, I did everything I could because I was sincere. You were, too, and you broke up with him for a reason. All those old feelings are the pain of disappointment, regret and loss, not love. You are wishing that you could have the guy you loved without the creep that hurt you and betrayed you.
My uncle had a saying, "Let's see you wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first." He was a learned man, a doctor, and his crass saying makes a good point. You can't control anything or wish for something or someone to be the way you want them to be. The only person you can effect change on, is you. Get on with it and avoid seeing him so you can get over these feelings....it is a normal part of grieving, but you have to learn to let go,,someone else is out there for you who won't treat you badly and mess you around.
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